losing it with pets

[Arienette]

my cat talks, he talks a lot

often it is because he is being fussy about his food and he wants to roam int he fridge

and he keeps going and going and going

i feel like he is going to push me over the edge

i keep losing it and screaming at him,

and i know it's not his fault he's just a cat that is old and fussy like cats are

i really love him a lot

but i just want him to shut the **** up - because i'm worried about throwing things at him or hurting him

right now I've shut him in the bedroom for a while to give me some space

he keeps making me cry

and sometimes have to leave the house to get away from him

he's due to go to the vet but he really is just kicking up a fuss about the fridge, i guess he's hungry but won't touch his food - i'm going to take him to the vet soon,

but sometimes he just gets like this, and he howls and howls and it takes me forever to find a food that suits his current monthly mood

and my fuse is to short for that right now

but i don't want anyone to think i can't look after him because most of the time i can

i don't want anyone to take him away

but i need him to shut up

any ideas?

[Elmer]

Just to let you know you're not alone. I love my (family) puppy to pieces but when I am left alone to look after her it can be very difficult to remember she is just a puppy and doesn't understand things the way humans or even adult dogs do. So when she is whining for no reason or eating my shoes or licking the table I have to take a deep breath, shut my eyes and remember she doesn't mean to be annoying or frustrating, she needs me to take care of her, infuriating or no.

It sounds like you are really struggling with this. I hope someone comes along with some decent advice. Just wanted you to know I sympathise.

[whirlpools]

It's good to acknowledge this and that you're worried about it. Is there someone who can take care of him for a little while or can he spend a few days in a nearby cattery? It's good he's going to the vet soon.

When nerves are frayed, even loved animals can feel stressful for many of us. I think it's sensible to make him a comfy spot you can put him when you need your own space. Maybe put a radio down on low if he seems to like that in the room with him. Pop his litter tray and some water in with him.

Have time cuddling with him when you're feeling more relaxed.

[Arienette]

thanks for showing me i'm not alone in this.

I think I might look at a cattery. When he stayed at the vets overnight it traumatised him but there is a cat hotel near by that I could use for 1-2 nights.

I will look into that.

Often he just wants to go out, which would be a good solution, but he's not allowed out because he eats things he shouldn't do and he has kidney disease, so he comes back really sick each time.

i might see how he goes with going out though, see how he reacts because a lot of the time he just wants to sit on the roof tops again, and so i feel awful, but i've been advised to keep him in because he won't just mooch about the garden, he goes on the roof tops and jumps between them.

but thanks for your help i think a cattery would be good. I feel like i need 2-3 days without him. My mum would take him for a few days but she lives at the other end of the country which is a shame, because that would be better as he knows and likes her.

i guess if i use the same cat hotel then he would become accustomed to their staff and the environment too.

thanks.

[EyelinerAndCigarettes]

You're certainly not alone in this, I find myself doing the exact same thing.

Reading this though has made me feel better though - I'm glad to hear it has for you too.

A cattery is a great idea, & you're right, he'll become used to it in time & probably look forward to it! A cattery near me has underfloor heating!

[Arienette]

Yeah he's out this morning to see how he goes.

When i decided to keep him in all the time I expected it to be short term and for him to be dead already.

And either next week or the following week in gonna book him in the cattery for a break. Maybe sooner if I can like Tuesday.

Depends on availability.

Thanks for your support everyone. Xx

[RenewedHope]

Just a suggestion, you say he likes going out but you worry about him eating something he shouldn't and getting sick? Perfectly understandable, my old cat who passed away a couple of years ago had Congestive Heart Failure and Kidney Stones so was on strict meds and a strict diet meaning she stopped being able to go out as the neighbours would feed her. Anyway back to my suggestion, could you maybe get a little harness and lead? Sometimes the ones for rabbits are a perfect size. Get him used to it indoors at first with lots of fuss and treats as positive reinforcement (like you would with a puppy) and then take him outside on it for some small walks, maybe to a park if there's one nearby so he can sit in the grass and get some fresh air.
Plenty of people use it as a compromise for cats that can't go outdoors plus it gives you a bonding activity too. If you set aside half an hour or an hour a day to do that, it might calm him down too :)

[Arienette]

Amazing idea.

I bought him one once but it was too small and didn't get another but he is very good with me outside. Will sit out of his box on my lap on a train and in kings cross station.

Also whenever we've been away (I used a shoelace so wasn't good for walking just helped stop him darting off) he appreciates me more.

I'm gonna go pets at home tomorrow and buy a bigger size. Thanks. X

[CaiteeBug]

I think it's good that you realize you need time away from your cat. But simply taking a break from your cat won't solve your actions to your cat. I know you love your cat very much. Sometimes when we're frustrated we take it out on those we love and who are closest to us. In this case, it's your cat.
Maybe do put your cat into the cattery while you figure out what's triggering you to behave like this?

[Arienette]

I know what it is. It's just that I'm in an episode (down) and bc of that my temperament is very short.

When I am stable again it will be fine again

It's just whilst I'm struggling

It's not always like this. Xx

[Pi.R^2]

Hope the harness and lead idea worked out well! Did you get him into the cattery in the end?

[LegoGirl]

Try some toys he can play with on his own and some feliway. Tie dangle toys to things or get some catnip, a catnip toy quietens mine down for ages.