I would write more but I'm running out. Ignore the voices. Don't be for them or against them. You can hear them but don't start to get into mental debates with them, yourself etc. I see you realise the voices are trying to control you and have you do things you dont want. Nothing that comes from outside motivation is good. Don't act on impulses you know aren't organic to you. The voices lie - for you and others who hear them
I went to bed early and took zopiclone really early. I don't eevn need the zopiclone anymore, I would fall asleep eventually, but I use it toknock myself out otherwise evenings are becoming unbearable.
yeah i see my psych on monday i will ask her - she makes me a bit nervous, she seems very stern and I've met her only once.
she was thorough and accurate, but you know like a head teacher that makes you **** yourself a little - she's a bit like that.
i will ask though bc evenings are very distressing for me right now, and difficult and just, pure hell. I would cry if i could but I've stopped being able to again but its like I'm sobbing underneath myself because i want the day to be over with
i tried ordering quetiapine but my dr obviously caught on because it was rejected,
i just want to od a little and be out of it for a few days
like a respite
i have no way of achieving this other than alcohol maybe? but alcohol is such a long and messy process compared to Q.
Understanding thing I guess. Or just getting through this. I feel so confused. I'm a murderer and I feel like that's why I'm here.
I didn't mean to be. I tried to save her and do the right thing. I'm goin to write a letter to read to her when I'm back home, and take her a bear.
The voice was talking whilst I last down. She stern whispered which shat me up.
I didn't see my psych in Monday it was cancelled to see psych on yesterday and I saw her Wales bc police phoned her and she got me admitted. And doubled my meds which make me vomit more. :(
I sat in a tree to get away from everyone bc I felt like everyone was talking about me an laughing about me.
So I was put on 5(2) and have my MHA today which I'm nervous for because I spoke to a woman on the phone who's assessing me and I had I just walk away from the phone bc she stressed me out.
Dr said he thinks I'm psychotic episode which I'm upset by bc that demeans the reality of it. Also I don't get psychosis. Delusional when I'm manic maybe but I'm not manic and I don't even feel fully depressed anymore. I'm not great but I'm ok. I feel so confused how they can judge what's real and not real without even coming to the grave to see for themselves.
And I'm worried for MHA bc they're all talking like I'm gonna get sectioned longer which is scaring me.
I'm also on 1:1 which is annoying. All I did was sit in a bloody tree for some space. You can't section someone and put them on 1:1 for sitting in a tree.
I'm getting agitated every now and then and I'm really struggling with that feeling. Xx
That I needed to get away from everyone and be alone bc people were talking and laughing about me.
They said I absconded bc I hopped the fence to the next garden but I thought it would be fine bc I was informal and it's just a gate to the next garden idont leave grounds even.
Sorry you've been put on a section 2. Do you know when you'll have a ward round and be able to talk about the reasons for your section and what treatment plan they are reccommending?
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