I sympathize with you, I really do. My first "real" job was at a deli, and the management was terrible, the customers were often awful, we also always had to be busy (which gave me anxieties in future jobs because that's not always realistic), and even though I did my work well I got passed over for awards and recognition for people who worked half as hard and didn't do their jobs well at all.
It's frustrating. I have mad respect for anyone in the service industry, because it's no fun on the whole.
What does she specifically want you to do? Maybe if she knows you're trying to improve and are dedicated to doing so, she'll go a little easier on you. There's a lot of turnover in this area, and finding a good employee who is willing to work to improve is a rarity. If she doesn't see that, she has problems.
That said, unless you really love the job, I'd start looking for another. I swear, I thought all jobs were as awful as the waitress one I had, until I got other jobs that were so much better; it was night and day. I don't know if you are in the US or not, but sometimes you can find jobs through your college that are easier to work and can get you some decent references too.
Good luck! :)
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