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28 year old male, newly single after 12 year relationship
My apologies if this comes across as scattered. I'll try keep it as organized as I can.
I am a 28 year old male. After around 12 or 13 years in an on and off again relationship with a girl who I had every intention to marry and spend the rest of my life with, we are done for good. I recently graduated with a degree in Geophysics from the University of Calgary which would typically have given me a great opportunity to get my foot in the door of an oil and gas company - which has been an excellent way to make an awesome living in Calgary until recently. Right now the price of oil and gas has dropped by about half and everyone is getting laid off, new grads aren't being hired and it's likely that by the time hiring picks back up this group of new grads are going to get over looked by companies looking for fresher graduates. I have decided to go to a technical college and try get a diploma in another field as a result. I am working for an organic grocery company right now as a delivery driver in the mean time. I had to leave the place me and my girlfriend were staying at because her name was on the lease and I couldn't have afforded to stay there on my own. I'm back at my parents at 28 years old.
Although I have never been diagnosed with a psychological disorder, I am fairly sure I fall somewhere on the spectrum of avoidant personality disorder. I made a group of about 7 friends when I was around 8 to 12 years old while still in junior high school. My personality changed after that and I began to find it very hard to connect with anyone else. As the years have passed I have lost them all, with the exception of 2, to drug addiction or simply growing apart/moving away. This girl was literally the last real friend I ever made. I met her when I was 16. Since then I have either spent my days alone, with the 2 remaining friends I have from those 7, or most recently, hanging out with this girls friends and family. I actually had come to enjoy most of her people and while I never truly connected completely with them, I still cared about them and they were a huge part of my life. I enjoyed their company and all of the stuff that we did together (skiing, music festivals, travelling, parties, camping). Now that's all gone. All I have left is my 2 friends from childhood.
One of those friends lives at home, has essentially never had a job, is in such bad shape that he can barely go for walks and strikes me as being incredibly depressed. I am pretty much his only friend outside of his family members. The other is a bully, has issues with anxiety and can't do much other than hang out with the three of us and his girlfriend. He is completely unwilling to branch out and hang out with new people - really both of my friends are this way. All we ever do is go see movies, go to pubs and drink, go to dinner. Rinse, wash, repeat.
I want a girlfriend. I want a bigger group of friends who are willing to go skiing, go to music festivals, travel and try new things. At this age I don't know how to find that though. Hell, I don't even have facebook friends. I had counted on just kind of hanging out with whoever my girlfriend dragged me out to see for the rest of my life and hadn't even really bothered trying to find new friends of my own. So I guess what i'm wondering is: is it too late to find what I'm looking for? Where should I start? What the hell do I do?
I'm basically trying to start a new life from scratch with a serious phobia of new people and seriously lacking in people skills. I would appreciate any suggestions.
Last edited by shnarlsonsharp : 01-08-2015 at 09:42 AM.
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