Contains sexual abuse - Its began

[finding.my.wings]

today i saw a specialist therapist for SA..... i saw them at 2pm... its now 1am...... ive not slept... ive drunk 1/4 a bottle of vodka. pretty sure this isnt coping. and all i had to say specifically were ages/dates/ and relationship to me.... BUT i had to think of it.... of what i remember and how i want to proceeded with therapy.


the last time i undertook this type of therapy i was unwell and became even more unwell.

[ModestMolly]

Hiya,
Its really brave of you to seek help with what has happened to you. You have clearly been through a lot and it is really brave of you to keep trying when you could have easily given up before. Give credit to yourself, you are doing well.
Regarding what has happened, its been a difficult step for you to take and its great that you have tried to discuss what has happened to you and seek help for it. Do you feel like it has been helpful in any way so far? Initially it might seem stressful and scary, but think of it as baby steps and that it could help you a lot in the long run.
If you have been in this situation before and the counselling has had negative consequences could you discuss this with your current counsellor? Or simply discuss with her what happen in the evening after the session you have just described? She could perhaps give you some coping techniques to do with how to deal with the process. Remember she has done this before and probably has a lot of advice to give if you ask for it.
Let us know how you are?
M

[Truth&OtherDisasters]

It's great that you are seeking help, you should feel good about that! But yes, I know it's a hard thing, and a therapy that sends you into destructive path right after won't help much.
It's hard for me too. I read in one book about SA, they were saying that for therapy to work you have to commit to it, and commit to not using self-destructive behaviors to deal with how you feel after. Right now mine isn't that bad at all, I lose myself in watching movie after movie...but it still isn't helping much though.
It's possible that you aren't ready for therapy yet, and if you aren't- that's okay. My first try was about 8-10 months after it happened, and as soon as the conversation for anywhere close to the subject, I bailed and did not return.
My second effort was better(though I still need some counselling) but I will say 2 things about it that may help:
1. with the next therapist/counselor, try to mention from the start that last time you had such reaction to the mere mention of thing. A good counselor won't press you right away, especially if they know it's an issue. I went back to therapy 3 years after my first attempt(obviously after quite a while) and even though i was MUCH better it was the hardest thing to do. And the first few sessions we were talking a lot about my life, my parents, friends, what I work, issues, but we didn't even touch in any way on what happened(other than them knowing that this is why I am there) until I wanted to talk about it. and i didn't have to say much until i was ready- and when i did talk i said as much as i felt like saying.
2. I've found that even if I make sure I don't self-hard after sessions, I do feel a bit "rattled" and vulnerable, so if it's an option I make sure to leave few hours after free- for napping, or doing something comforting, whatever that is. Just making sure to take care of myself.
Hope any of this helps!
xxx