Uh, hi. I'm Cee. I'm not quite a newbie, I used to come here quite a lot, but I haven't been back in so long (like, years long) I'm pretty sure I qualify for newbie status all over again.
I've had problems with SI, among other things, for going on seven years now, but have been managing okay for the past year and have even managed to be free for over six months. I'd say this is partly down to the fact I was feeling better within myself, but mostly down to the fact I didn't want to disappoint my family. Which is...not a the best reason to stop SIing, but it kept me free, so I suppose it was better than nothing.
I didn't find it that bad at first - not easy, but not as hard as I'd found it other times I've tried to stop. But as time has went on, I've found it harder and harder, and have even had a few near-misses. I've been having a really rough night tonight (or early morning, I suppose) and I remembered this site, and decided to come back in hopes of support and being able to speak to people who understand what I'm going through.
I understand what you're going through. I stopped SI for someone else too. A lot of people have told me that the worst thing you can do is stop for someone else and not for yourself, but in those conditions if you don't have anyone that cares for you or wants to see you do better, it's hard. Honestly, just having a support system is better than having nothing. Glad you were able to stop.
As far as the urges go, it's hard... I've been clean for 3 years but it's been one hell of a roller coaster ride. Funny thing is there's not a day that goes by that I think about throwing it all away.
Hope your day gets better and hope that the urges go away. Looking forward to see some threads from ya :)
I understand what you're going through. I stopped SI for someone else too. A lot of people have told me that the worst thing you can do is stop for someone else and not for yourself, but in those conditions if you don't have anyone that cares for you or wants to see you do better, it's hard. Honestly, just having a support system is better than having nothing. Glad you were able to stop.
As far as the urges go, it's hard... I've been clean for 3 years but it's been one hell of a roller coaster ride. Funny thing is there's not a day that goes by that I think about throwing it all away.
Hope your day gets better and hope that the urges go away. Looking forward to see some threads from ya :)
Thanks! And congratulations, three years is an amazing accomplishment! I'm hoping that the further along I get, the more I'll not want to throw it away and I'll be able to deal with the urges better? But you've shown that roller coaster what for by being clean for three years, well done!
And yeah, that's the way I look at it - it's not ideal to be doing it for someone else, but it's better than the alternative. And thank you, I'm feeling a bit better after hanging around RYL for a bit. I think I've made the right choice by coming back here. And I look forward to seeing you around, too!
I'm new here too (except for me it's new-for-the-first-time), and I've already found it a positive and encouraging place.
Six months is an awesome accomplishment! I'm coming up on two months, and I also really hope the urges will lessen with time. I think even WANTING to be SI free is a huge step, though, so congratulations on hanging onto that this long! Whatever reason you're trying to stop for, you've been free for six months. That's a good thing!
I'm new here too (except for me it's new-for-the-first-time), and I've already found it a positive and encouraging place.
Six months is an awesome accomplishment! I'm coming up on two months, and I also really hope the urges will lessen with time. I think even WANTING to be SI free is a huge step, though, so congratulations on hanging onto that this long! Whatever reason you're trying to stop for, you've been free for six months. That's a good thing!
Looking forward to getting to know you :)
Hi! And I practically feel like I'm here for the first time, so I'd say we're in the same boat. And I've only been back for like twelve hours, but I'm definitely wondering why I ever left. I'm glad you've found a place that you find positive and encouraging, too! We need all the support we can get, after all!
And same. Two months is an amazing achievement! If you can go two more of them, you'll be at the six month mark! And then if you can go one more of that, you'll be at the twelve month mark! I find looking at it that way makes it seem much less daunting. To making huge, positive steps!
I look forward to getting to know you, too! Especially considering your profile says you're a fellow reader and writer.
Oh yeah, I love books!! And I saw that you're interested in psychology; that's awesome! I'm partway through a degree in psych. It's so interesting.
That's a good way to look at it. Sometimes, though, I have to focus on just [i]Right Now[i]. But having goals to motivate me is also really helpful. Like, for my two month mark I'm going to a movie with my mom and a friend (though they don't know my reason), and when I've made it to a year I'm thinking about getting a tattoo.
Oh yeah, I love books!! And I saw that you're interested in psychology; that's awesome! I'm partway through a degree in psych. It's so interesting.
That's a good way to look at it. Sometimes, though, I have to focus on just [i]Right Now[i]. But having goals to motivate me is also really helpful. Like, for my two month mark I'm going to a movie with my mom and a friend (though they don't know my reason), and when I've made it to a year I'm thinking about getting a tattoo.
I'm glad you're here! This is such a great place!
Seriously? If all goes well grades-wise, I'll be doing psychology in university not this September, but next. I'm researching universities ATM! I'm so glad to hear you're liking it, I haven't met anyone who's actually doing a psychology degree yet, so it's good to hear from someone who is. There was a sample lecture at a university open day I went to recently, though, and I loved it.
And yes! Books are so good. It's so good you're doing a psychology degree, actually, because I've been wondering whether the degree gives much, if any time to read for fun? Although I imagine my book-buying habit may take a hit anyway, being on a student budget and whatnot.
And I totally get that! Looking to the future is something I tend to do a lot, but it does help, especially when you're feeling particularly bad, to live for the moment and not focus on anything else. And ooh, are you going to see anything good? The cinema is always a good reward! And you definitely deserve it, given how much it must have taken you to get to this milestone.
And I've always wanted to get a tattoo, having it as a one year reward is actually a really good idea!
I'm so sorry that you're having trouble. But also congrats on the 6 months! That's amazing!
Any reason to stop SHing is a great reason. No matter what it is. Plus doing it for your family is a great reason! If it matters to you, then do it. :) I'm here if you ever need me, hun. Stay strong x
Hello Cee! Nice to meet you :) I used to come here a lot too and have only just come back on here after years.
I too am studying for a psychology degree, I am doing it with the Open University because I have a job too but no A levels :)
Look forward to chatting with you!
It seems this place is hard to stay away from. and ooh, I didn't know you didn't need A Levels for the OU? I'm in the same boat, I have no A Levels but I'm doing an Access course instead. How is the OU?
I'm so sorry that you're having trouble. But also congrats on the 6 months! That's amazing!
Any reason to stop SHing is a great reason. No matter what it is. Plus doing it for your family is a great reason! If it matters to you, then do it. :) I'm here if you ever need me, hun. Stay strong x
Thank you! For all of that, it means a lot. And agreed - any reason is a good reason when it comes to stopping SI! And the same for you, if you ever need someone to talk to, consider me here. Or even if you just want to talk to someone about reading and writing (I'm a profile snooper, ngl ), I'm open. Us writers need to stick together!
And same - stay strong! Look forward to talking to you!
And I've only been back for like twelve hours, but I'm definitely wondering why I ever left. I'm glad you've found a place that you find positive and encouraging, too! We need all the support we can get, after all! 
If all goes well grades-wise, I'll be doing psychology in university not this September, but next. I'm researching universities ATM! I'm so glad to hear you're liking it, I haven't met anyone who's actually doing a psychology degree yet, so it's good to hear from someone who is. There was a sample lecture at a university open day I went to recently, though, and I loved it. 
