I've only got about two hours of internet, if that, so I'm sorry if someone replies and I don't respond for a long time. But I really, really need advice.
I've presented at A&E around 35 times in the last three months for self harm and overdoses, a lot more ODs in the last month.
CMHT is useless, I don't why the crisis team exists, as all they do is tell you to stick on a movie when you're begging for help because you're suicidal. My CPN is no longer seeing me because she's been making me feel worse with her lack of advice and inability to help. She wouldn't put me forward to any therapies at all, and wouldn't arrange me an appointment with a psychiatrist.
I'm on 50mg quetiapine, when I should be on 200/300mg for my mood, as I have been in the past.
I was referred to day hospital for a second time, but they called me to say they didn't think it was a good idea for me to go, because I wasn't any safer there, and I was so bored and caged I hated it.
There are other services I use, the voluntary ones which are, naturally, so much more compassionate and understanding, but sometimes they are hard to access because of limited time, availability, staff etc.
I can't stop myself, I feel so awful a lot of the time, finding it really hard to cope day to day, and I really need help. But no one is helping, and no one is putting forward suggestions, and they're ignoring all mine. They seem to have adopted the "wait and see" approach as if I'm spontaneously going to heal myself. They say I'm a complex case which means they're not sure where to send me, so their brilliant plan is to try nothing at all. I can't take this anymore.
Please, someone. Do you know what I should do, or suggest, or some way to get through to them?
What do A&E say when you present? I would imagine that if you're presenting to A&E every few days for three months then they'd be very familiar with you and want to help reduce A&E attendences.
What do you think would help right now?
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
I don't really know what an advocate is, but I have support through Touchstone, I'm sure he'll help point a few things out. It's just he's my housing support, and I'm always worried about asking too much of him.
As for what I want from them/suggestions... therapy? Alternative therapies? Medication? A psychiatrist? A social worker? I really don't know, and I just can't get these things on my own at the moment. I can not handle phone calls, and I have no internet, and though the library has internet, I can't do places with lots of people. But still, they told me they don't really do long term support, and they wont give any short term support because they don't think it'll help, and they're not going to suggest hospital, because no one else has brought it up, which I know is rubbish, many people have, but she wont listen to me.
I'm not seeing her again, the cpn, I'm going to be shifted over to this guy when he starts in a few months.
A&E don't mind. They're really nice there, and a few of them are getting to know me a little. I wouldn't say they like me being there so often, but they prefer over me not going.
I don't know what help I want or need, but I know I need help. A large part of me just wants to be left alone, but I know that's no good. I'm sending my friend back into crisis, she's so worried, and angry that CMHT and everyone wont do anything; they're quite happy to leave me to die.
Do you think that you could go to A&E as a preventative measure when you feel unsafe but before you harm yourself?
Mind have an information package on what an advocate is and what they can do here it might be worth having a look at the information to see if one would help.
I try to go before I do anything. But sometimes the psychiatric team are ****s, and they'll just tell me to go home. The nursing staff, and the doctors, are the nice ones.
I think my GPs a little confused at the moment. I know he's really worried, he doesn't think I can keep myself safe. But everytime I go into detail, he says he'll call the crisis team. I tell him he may as well throw money in a wishing well. Wish me the help, doc. He doesn't get why the CMHT aren't do anything either. He did try to contact the Patient Empowerment Project for me.
Thank you for that. It might just be me, it looks pretty confusing. I'll get my touchstone worker to go through it tomorrow, and I'll try contact mind.
