Want to be alone/feel lonely!?

[Jwal90]

Hi everyone,

It's been a little while since I've been on here and my social anxiety has decreased significantly since I last posted. I'm starting to learn new things about myself, such as the fact I am an introvert but that doesn't make me anti-social.

However, this weekend I had lots of things planned and everything seemed to fall through at once so I've had a weekend of doing nothing and it's really made me feel down.

I met a girl and fell hard for her but then she had to go back home - to another country which has not helped. On top of that I am 25, still living at home with no idea what I want to do with life. It sounds strange but it's dawned on me that I've let life happen to me, rather than living it and making concision decisions, if that makes sense?

I know the type of person I want to be and I have an idea of what I need to do but I just keep putting things off and I always seem to end up back in the same place without any progress.

I want to know why, when I spend too much time with people I want to be alone but when I'm alone I want to be around people and doing exciting things!? Does anyone else have this experience?

[Pi.R^2]

Sorry your weekend plans fell through- could you get in contact with a friend or two and see if they want to do something today?

It's ok to not know what you want to do with life when you're 25. Do you work at the moment?

With regards to your last paragraph, could you maybe slightly reduce the time you spend with other people, so that you do enjoy it when you do and feel less overwhelmed? That could be what contributes to feeling like you want to be alone when you're with people.

[crazykat]

I know everyone says it and it's a bit cliché but your 25, your still young. You still have alot of life ahead of you and time to find the direction you want to go in your life. It already sounds like your part of the way there, you have an idea of where you want to be but lack the drive/motivation to get you there. Could it help to write down what it is that you want to achieve and then small goals that you can work towards. Make sure that they are achievable though.

The above suggestion of reducing your contact time with friends is a good idea. As it allows you to come to a middle ground of not isolating yourself but also making sure you don't overwhelm yourself with it too much.

[Steel Maiden]

I don't like being around people and I try to be alone where possible (although professional appointments are ok). It's not unheard of.