How Do I Deal With Parent Manipulation?????

jtaffy · 13-06-2015, 08:11 AM

hey all, I need advice..

my mum has always been really "my way or you're grounded" and very scary if i try to say no to her.

I can't say no to anyone now..I feel too guilty.

I am finally in college, about 1200 miles from home, and i thought going so far away would be better, and it is...but she still has me under her thumb...always threatening to take away this or that.

She hates bad grades, aka a B or lower. I just got 2 Cs last semester and still haven't told her. I am so terrified.

What is a normal mother-daughter relationship??? I know I don't have one, but I wish I could. She has redeeming qualities, but I can't deal with the mental crap I get from her.

what do i do??? how do i tell her i just wasted the money she gave me for college??? she will notice my GPA drop and start asking questions. I think it would be better to tell her about the Cs before she sees the GPA.

I am having huge anxiety over this... I thought I had control of my trich, but I am starting to pick at my hair again and i hate myself for it

please help!! what do i do?

-jtaffy

Pi.R^2 · 13-06-2015, 04:13 PM

Are you trying your best? Because if you are then your grade is good enough and she ought not to react poorly to that. Does she have to find out your GPA and will these two grades definitely count towards your GPA?

Is there any chance that if you talk to her about this and how anxious you are about the grades she might be more understanding than you are fearing?

jtaffy · 13-06-2015, 10:25 PM

The grades will definitely count, she will see them eventually.

Thing is, my anxiety comes from what she does, not that I got bad grades. The grades I can recover from, but its harder to deal with her yelling and screaming at me for being so stupid.

I am trying as hard as I can, but I also have to have a job to help pay for college, and that takes up a lot of time too.

Pi.R^2 · 13-06-2015, 10:41 PM

You are trying as hard as you can and if she can't be proud of that then that is entirely your problem and you shouldn't have to be made to feel anxious because of her shouting at you. I'm really sorry you have to deal with that.

Do you feel like if she shouts you might be able to say "I've tried my best, so I don't deserve to listen to this" and then leave the situation? Might be easier over the phone at first because you can just hang up rather than having to physically get yourself out of earshot!