Severe anxiety regarding missed appointment.

[Lindsey]

I've been seeing a counsellor for about nine months and she's led to a lot of really positive changes in my life. I've been having an especially hard time lately and don't know how I'd get through without her.

A few weeks ago I wrote out all the hard stuff I'd been working up to. I knew it would trigger me but I was seeing her the following day and I knew she'd calm me down and be able to talk it through with me. I got an email the next day saying she was off sick from someone else at the centre and the appointment was cancelled.

So much has gone wrong in my life since and I feel like I'm undoing all the positivity. The appointment was meant to be three weeks ago. After a week I emailed the woman who contacted me asking if she could give me a rough idea how long she'd be off (as in, she could be off with a cold or she could have been hit by a bus) and she never replied. So a week ago I emailed the general office email asking the same question and nobody has responded.

They have a helpline but I've called it several times and left my number but a couple of times they didnt call me back then when they did the person was a bit abrupt and unhelpful. I feel like what I'm going through is a huge deal but they've been very dismissive of me. They also told me the centre are probably too busy to get in touch with me which makes me feel even more worthless.

I can only see my counsellor on specific days and soon I have a lot of nights I won't be able to see her and I keep cancelling plans because there is a chance she might call. I am hardly able to eat or sleep because i'm now so anxious. If somebody got back to me and said she would be off for another week then that would be ok. But I keep thinking of different scenarios and whether ill ever see her again. I'm feeling so anxious and checking my phone constantly. It's making me feel really unwell and I don't understand why I'm being ignored.

[Snow White.]

I'm so sorry to hear you've been treated like this. This is such poor management of a counsellors patients, many who like you are going through big changes and need support through that.

Firstly I want to acknowledge that you deserve better than to just be shoved aside. I sense the staff are not coping with her absence and are just trying to not deal with it. That's not an excuse to treat you like that and ignore calls and emails.

I also want to acknowledge the great work you did prior to this happening, you made progress and even though it feels things have taken a dip, please remember you have the strength in you to make that progress.

I hate waiting to find things like this out too, and it sounds like it's impacting your health a great deal. Is there anyone else who can call for you to find out more information but be very firm in doing so? Do you have a doctor who can contact them?

In the meantime I guess it might be worth trying to calm yourself with an affirmation that you can repeat, like "I will find out soon what is happening" and not feed into imaging scenarios. I know it's easier said than done. I'm hoping someone else can offer advice, I'm sorry you're struggling so much right now but please hold on. You can get through this.

[Lindsey]

Thank you for replying.

I'm scared to phone because I'm now embarrassed about how many times I've gotten in touch and been ignored.

I'd even be happy if somebody emailed me and said that she will be off long term so they can't give me a date. Or that it could be a couple of weeks. Any response would ease this anxiety slightly.

In my head I've been thinking that maybe she's been off sick for a couple of weeks but maybe then she's gone on holiday after. It's summer so that's likely that she'd have scheduled time off. But it's not knowing. And my mind has just gone into overdrive trying to think up why she isn't getting in touch with me or no-one from her office is.

I feel like trying and working so hard has been for nothing when nobody even has the courtesy to reply to an email.

[Lindsey]

Still not heard back from anyone

I called last week and was told someone would phone me back. They didn't.