I'm interested in opinions, how often did you see your parent/s drink or be drunk and also how often you think is normal, in the sense of, how often is normal to see a parent/s drink and how often have you seen them drunk? So even if you never saw your parent/s drunk I'd like an opinion.
Also if you're willing, do you think your parents drinking had any impact on yours? Again, I'm interested if you're parents never drank but say you do socially. Everyone's opinion is interesting to me.
The personal note here being, I'm not sure I have a "normal" view on alcohol consumption, and other peoples opinions towards their parents would be welcome, as that is where I think I've gained my views on alcohol from.
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Growing up, I never saw my parents drink. I saw my dad drink for the first time after seeing a lady and I was around 12 years old. I was just always told that alcohol is bad for you.
However, my mom didn't start letting me see her drink until I was a bit older. I saw her drink once at a World of Warcraft guild barbecue. It was just one bottle of something, which isn't much. She started drinking more when I was 15 or 16, keeping alcohol in the house. Her and my step dad were drinking more and it wasn't like they were getting drunk or anything. I've only seen my mom drunk once and she just acted childish. My step dad threw up for an hour and passed out.
This hasn't changed my perspective on alcohol. My parents had no influence on my decision. Though I am only 19 and in the US, I've tried it only a few times and been drunk once. My mom knows and is willing to buy me alcohol just because she wants me to be safe. Her ideology is that if teenagers want to do something, then they'll do it. So she will let me do a lot of different things in her home just so she can watch me and be safe. :)
Either way, I still don't like alcohol.
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My mum drinks socially, I've seen her drunk a few times when she's come back from nights out, but these days she's a massive lightweight and we laugh about it :P I would say that my dad is a functioning alcoholic, though he would disagree. He drinks almost every evening and often when he starts he won't stop. There have been periods where it hasn't been so bad, but when I'm at home I see him drunk most nights and have since I was a child. It still bothers me a lot. I don't really think there is a 'normal' though.
I don't think it really had an impact on how much I drink. When I was a kid I was determined that I'd never drink because I don't want to be like that. But then my teenage years happened and I realised it can be fun and I appear to be able to drink without it being a problem. Now, I drink socially but I very very rarely get drunk. I think I have a healthy attitude to alcohol and I don't have any worries about it.
Would it help to talk more about what's going on for you / your own views?
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My dad only ever drank alcohol on holiday every year. Apart from that my parents never drank in front of me.
And in a way yes I think my parents not drinking had an impact on me prior to me developing intolerances to the stuff used to create alcohol. I never really have felt the need to go out and drink alcohol or buy it. But I did use to drink when at parties/social gatherings, often it was only a drink or two though.
My parents drink most night and I would say that they drink within the healthy limit so a couple of glasses of wine or so. I've never really seen my parents drunk though they have been tipsy. At times they would drink more so going out with friends on Christmas etc.
I drink rarely but when I drink I may drink the recommended amount upwards. Drink is not a problem for me and I think my parents drinking regularly normalised it as they drink because they enjoy the taste etc. not to get drunk.
My brother is a heavy drinker and he binges I wouldn't say he is an alcoholic but he drinks to much. He started drinking at uni and his views on alcohol would definitely come from his friends. Ironically when he would visit my parents he would often use that time to rest his liver now he drinks less due to work he enjoys a drink at home.
My sister is teetotal as she doesn't like the taste of it. I guess that links to my view that I see alcohol as something to enjoy not to abuse and I got that from my parents drinking regularly.
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My mom drinks socially with her friends I've seen her drunk a few times. My dad has an occasional drink with dinner but I've only once seen him actually drunk. I drink socially and have the occasional drink with dinner.
I don't recall ever seeing my Dad drunk. My Mum I only saw drunk once and that was when we were on holiday.
They drink a glass or two with a meal out, but not much more than that.
I don't drink much, only a cider or glass of Baileys once in a blue moon. I also don't drink when I go out, I do the driving. This is not because of my parents, this is because of my brother (an alcoholic who is drinking himself to death) and I don't like being drunk. I also don't see the point in spending so much money to puke it back out again...!
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My parents would have a wine cooler now and then (almost no alcohol in those); I think my dad drank beer a few times and my mother had wine on occasion.
They were really very strict on not providing me alcohol, either. I think before I was drinking age they let me have a little bit of champagne at a wedding - that was it.
I drank some at high school parties, but not too much. Same for in college. Once I was old enough, I drank a bit more because I would go to the bars with my friends. I'm 23 now and will go out maybe once a month. I get somewhat drunk, but not fall-down drunk or anything like that. I'm not a heavy drinker at all.
I don't know how much parents have an influence, but I will say that I have friends whose parents were always heavy drinkers, and even provided them with alcohol before they were old enough. They are still heavy drinkers. Many times they actually go out and party with their parents.
I don't think it's necessarily bad, it's just an interesting pattern.
Uhh my dad drinks a glass of wine most evenings but on a Saturday he will throw back a few beers. My mum has a few drinks a week, as does my sister.
I sometimes see my dad tipsy but not regularly and every now and again if they go out they will both get drunk but that's rare.
Influence wise....I have a pretty healthy relationship with alcohol, I don't drink much at all anymore but I come from a family where when I was a child we were given shandys or sometimes a realllly small bit of wine on Saturdays so it's never really been a big thing.
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My parents used to drink every night, nothing that strong, just cider and beer. I always thought it was normal but I've realised as an adult that it wasn't always. For instance, my dad used to do shift work and when he was on night shifts, he would come in in the morning and have a drink before going to bed. They always told me this was normal because 'It's basically his night time' but now I know more people who work unusual hours and realise that was BS and he probably did have a bit of a problem. A few years ago they hit serious debt problems and couldn't afford it so much and had to cut back to three nights a week. It was a big deal at the time but they managed it quite smoothly and seemed better for it.
I on the other hand have never been interested in alcohol. I've never had a drink or been drunk or anything. And it frustrates me how baffled people are by that but that's another issue I guess
I know I'm bumping this but I've thought about replying for a long time.
I know this is a small section of a website but people's answers surprised me, well the majority I suppose. I've only started to think of my family's alcohol consumption as more than a normal amount very recently, despite years of jokes about my mum being an alcoholic.
I feel sick writing that, she definitely isnt an alcoholic, but I find it so hard to see where the line is with alcohol.
I know I'm talking too much but I didn't realise there was such thing as not seeing your parent/s drunk until basically a year or so ago, I'm 22. Perhaps this is odd, perhaps alcohol in my life was to the normal amount but more frequent than others? I don't honestly know. This is difficult for me, I'm not looking for someone to blame, but this thread has been very enlightening, however naive it makes me sound.
Oh god I want to hear you say,
I want to hear you say that you were wrong again
This is the first thing
I have understood:
Time is the echo of an axe
Within a wood.
Growing up my mum rarely drank alcohol as she didn't like the taste of it. Dad mainly drank beer, sometimes wine. Usually a couple of nights a week he'd have a beer after dinner, or a glass of wine on a sunday. Me and my brother would be curious and ask to taste it, and we'd be allowed to try it. More often than not we'd go "euggghh!" and not ask again for a while.
Alcohol was never forbidden. I never saw my dad drunk, hardly ever saw my mum drink anything alcoholic let alone get tipsy. There'd usually be beer in the fridge or some wine in the kitchen but we never had any spirits etc in the house.
As I got older I knew that I hated the taste of alcohol (from asking to try dad's beer and wine) so it was never something that grabbed me as being fun to do. Other girls at school would brag about getting drunk and throwing up and I couldn't understand why it would be so fun to feel so unwell.
The first time I got drunk was when I was about 17. I mixed my drinks at a party (didn't know any better) and just kept drinking (didn't know my limits). Spent the rest of the night throwing up and then passed out. I went home and my mum didn't even get mad because she could see how ill I was, and she knows that I have a huge phobia of vomit and she could see I learned my lesson. Even now I feel sick if I smell certain types of alcohol that I drank that night.
My brother on the other hand loves alcohol. He is a very regular drinker (he is 22 years old) and often has wine and spirits like whisky in the house. He'll drink most evenings, and as it's the summer break before he goes to do his master's he's been meeting his mates and quite a few times he's come home hungover and sick. Mum and I worry he's drinking too much (and started smoking but that's another story) but he insists he's fine. I've never seen him drunk, but mum told me one night last week she came downstairs at 3am and he was passed out on the sofa from a night out. She couldn't get any response out of him.
Not sure about my dad these days as my parents are divorced. As far as I know he doesn't have a problem with alcohol, when we went on holiday to new york in july he drank very sensibly just as I remember.
And my partner of 3 years is teetotal like me (both dont like the taste) so alcohol does not feature in our lives. It's something I don't think about much.
My vices were cigarettes and cannabis, and even then that was only really from the ages of 15-21. I gave all that up.
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Hi, my dad was a raging alcoholic . It was rare to see him sober. It caused knock out, drag out fights between him and my mom. I would often try to get in between them...bad for me. I had to clean up his vomit, ride my bike down to the bar to check on him and help my brother and sister hide when he was in a rage. My mom told me more than once that his drinking was my fault.
my mum is an alcoholic and as a result of watching her use drink to cope I have become an alcoholic and have had to take part in a 12 step programme to stop drinking and go to meeting every night.
my mum and dad drink every night and I have seen my mum so drunk she cant stand up more that enough.
the way my parents are around alcohol has definitely influenced me and my drinking habbits.
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I have dyslexia so please excuse my poor spelling and sometimes poor understanding.
Says the girl who posts threads asking for support/advice less than once a year?????? (aka no, you're not)
What makes you say that your mum isn't an alcoholic? (not saying you're wrong btw, I don't know either way, you just seemed very quick to say that she wasn't which for some reason makes me think you might be worried that she is).
I don't really know exactly what amount or frequency of parental drinking would count as 'normal', but I would say it would be unfair and not sensible for parents to frequently drink to excess or be drunk in front of their children, particularly when they are young and if all caregivers are drunk at the same time, meaning the children are not adequately supervised. I hope that makes sense?
