I don't like socialising. How to explain to mum.

[Steel Maiden]

My mum and I are mostly getting along now. Just so long as we don't talk about my parents' divorce and so long as I don't confront my mum about her abusive behaviour towards me in the past (she is in extreme denial about that), we get along and help each other.

However I am a strong introvert and my mum is an extreme extrovert. She takes hours to let me go home. Yesterday I spent five hours with her; when I got home I had a meltdown. She talks constantly. I don't like conversation. I don't like speaking to people. Especially when it's social.

It's her birthday on the 10th of June. She wants to spend her birthday with me. I a) need a way to get through the whole day without ending up arrested and b) need methods to leave early.

How do I sensitively tell my mum leave me alone I want to go home, I'm exhausted? She gets upset when I am too blunt and just say "I want to go back to my place and sleep". She takes on average two hours to let me go home.

Any advice?

[chinahorse]

Sorry you havent gotten a reply sooner Oly.Gad to hear the relationship with your mam has improved.

Could you think of things to do when you and mam are together that might help make it easier for you? Like activites that you both find comfortable? What about a set time to arrive and leave? What is it about spending the whole day that makes it more difficult than a coupe of hours? Could you explain this to her? As for leaving early, have an 'appointment' you have to go to. Get someone to message you saying they need you to be somewhere else.

Would you mam work better with warning stages. Like 'Mam Im thinking about leavng in x hours' and so on so she can get used to the idea of you going? Much like you'd do with a small child.

When you say it takes so and so hours for her to let you go home what do you mean? Does she physically prevent you? Are you reliant on her for a lift? Could you get someone else to take you home?

[Steel Maiden]

Good advice.

I will try those phrases.

I am dependent on her to walk me home due to my disabilities.

She doesn't physically stop me, but she uses psychological trickery and manipulation.

I get very easily socially overloaded.

I think setting times would work.

I've found a trick of her meeting me up at 16:00 so that I can use the meds excuse to leave soon.

Although I saw my mum last evening and she was surprisingly great.