I went to A&E with a lady from work yesterday afternoon where she received a diagnosis of terminal cancer. Apart from being swollen and having severe jaundice, she seems perfectly fine. Claims she has no pain, etc..
She has no family in the UK who anyone can contact, 2 of her sons moved to Canada and the lines at work will not allow to call them, presumably with the fact it's overseas..
I'm not sure what's happening with the lady, they were talking about admitting her and doing further investigations before I left last night.. I feel awful for leaving and kinda guilty about her diagnosis... Which makes no sense...
Does anyone have any kind words? Even if it's just a case of "man up"?
*hug* what a horrible situation, I'm truly sorry that this has happened. Is happening to so many people, it saddens me to see suffering like this. I'm here for you if you want to talk, let me know if you need a virtual hug or anything
She's been admitted, may be getting taken to theatre at some point to get biopsies done.. not all too sure why when she's almost 94 & against all medical treatment.
At least she is a good age and is fortunate enough to have lived a very long life. Would thinking about it in a different way help ease your guilt.
Your guilt shows that's you're obviously a caring person but try not to feel guilty. Sad maye but it's not your fault. You went with we and that's very kind enough.
Not many make it to 94 so she's very fortunate to have lived until now without major pain.
X
Well done for being there for her. You have done a commendable thing and she would of appreciated your kindness in her hour of need. This is a tough situation and it's hard not to get emotionally attached, but you need to realise that it's definitely not your fault! Finding peace of mind is hard but over time you may come to certain beliefs of your own. What you do know right now is that she is the best hands that will give her the best possible care, and will allow her to die a dignified death. Gentle hugs for you xxx
I'm sorry to hear that, I know it can be hard. How are you feeling?
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
Yesterday just felt like a dream... Completely unreal, havent reached work yet but I'm expecting it to go the same way once I realise she's not sat out and/or that her room is now empty. I feel awful. Her sons didn't get to see her although hee grandson managed to see her for 10 minutes before she died.. first death at work and first death in a while in general.
The first one is hard. It gets easier; you don't stop caring but you will learn to cope with it.
It is sad that she's gone, but try to remember that even though there's nothing you could do to change that, you were there for her and cared for her and did the best you could for her. That's important.
I hope work isn't going too badly. Are you able to talk to any of your colleagues about how you're feeling?
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
