Soo, a few things lately have got me thinking about recovery, in terms of mental health, and how it is quite an individual thing; many of us will have different ideas about it, and about what it would be like to be 'recovered'. I personally find it helpful to have an idea about what it means for me, in practice, and to remember to be realistic about what it looks like.
So; what does it mean for you?
And bonus question; what do you do to help yourself in your recovery?
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
Whenever I thought about being recovered I always had a vision of me being 100% free from all mental illness symptoms. Coping fine with full time work, having a family and so on. But I was very perfectionistic in my views and when talking to my psychologist she helped me to see that being 'in recovery' and even 'recovered' means that I can deal with and manage my symptoms, so that they are not controlling me. It might never mean I'm 100% free of symptoms, but I'll be at a stage where the symptoms do not impact on my life and behaviour because I'll know how to cope with them.
I've made peace with the fact that from time to time I'll self harm. I'm talking down from multiple times a day to a couple of times a year. To me that's 'recovered' self harm wise and I'm chuffed to bits with it!
I'll feel recovered when I can work (even if part time) without getting so stressed that I feel suicidal. And cope with my life without using the sabotaging, unhelpful behaviours I currently use to check out and not deal with things (or deal with them in a damaging way).
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
Recovery involved becoming more aware of how I was feeling and being able to allow myself to sit and experience those feelings.
Feelings scared me, some of them overwhelmed me to the point where I thought I was losing control. This loss of control sent me into fight-or-flight, which is our bodies natural survival instinct. When I was in that basic primitive state I lost contact with the higher functioning part of me.
Being recovered, for me, involved me becoming responsive to life rather than being reactive to it. This is similar to what the poster before me said, it's managing my life rather than life managing me.
Something I realised much later about being recovered was that it also involved the re-discovery of other people. Everything was all about me and I was too wrapped up in my own things to be able to care about or get involved with what was going on for other people. This didn't mean I didn't care or that I was a bad person, it meant that I needed to be cared for, for a while until I recovered. I needed to be selfish, but that isn't a bad thing. I never got the chance to be spoiled with care before, like every child should be, and that was part of the problem that was stopping me maturing.
Then one day I really noticed something. It hit me like nothing I had ever experienced before. I could see the pain in other people's eyes when something bad was happening for them. It effected me. I cared. I was able to listen to them and really hear them.
I was more attuned with the facial expressions of others and I knew what they were feeling. I was able to have meaningful eye contact with others that didn't fill me with fear or shame, but trust and care.
Being recovered doesn't mean that you won't ever cry or ever feel down, depressed, anxious, angry or shame. Everyone feels these things, even people who have never had to deal with trauma and people who seem to have had a good life.
Being recovered, for me, is me maturing, becoming part of a mutual social network and becoming responsible. It can be hard. Life doesn't automatically become full of rainbows. I have to make my own rainbows, and sometimes I just don't feel like it. But the rainbows do exist, I know I can make them happen and that I can enjoy them.
Thanks for this; it has been helpful to read other responses as I'm struggling with what "recovery" means.
For a long time I thought it meant being 100% free, happy, very fulfilled... very rose tinted I guess.
Now I realise that it means being able to control and manage my illnesses without them doing that to me... and that it is okay to slip up every now and then, it's natural, expected. Not everybody is perfect because everyone has their vices.
Like Dash used to, I am finding "recovery" unsatisfactory, I am unhappy, unfulfilled, quite empty and just not enjoying things. Still in therapy at the moment to try and help with that.
Thank you for posting this, it's really heartening to see peoples' responses.
For me personally, I don't identify with the term 'recovery' because I've kind of always been unwell in one way or another. It doesn't seem like there is a state of health to be recovered. Instead, I like the idea of 'discovery', learning what it is like to live without trauma and mental health issues dominating my life.
For me, the idea of discovery is a lot about trying new things (new ways of thinking and behaving), but largely changing how I relate to my emotions and my sense of self. Trying to stop self-harming and seeing suicide as an option is a massive part of that. I'm not putting any pressure on myself to necessarily overcome symptoms like hearing voices, flashbacks, dissociation etc because I think that will come in time and it's something I can't force. But I think my views are quite likely to change over time; right now reducing self-harm is the priority but I hope one day that won't be the case and I will be tackling other aspects of my health instead.
I believe I'm in the process of recovery now. I have good days and bad days. But mostly good days. I'm content and great full. My mood is stable and my psychosis is under control.
Recovery to me is about maintaining that and doing the best for myself everyday and being kind to myself without being selfish.
Although I think you do have to be a little selfish in recovery because you really have to dedicate a lot of time and effort to doing what is best for your mental health every day.
I've been stable for over a month now. I'm happy and content. This is recovery to me and I work everyday to make it last.
The average,
well-adjusted adult
gets up at 7.30am feeling just plain terrible.
Call me Kate.
I have dyslexia so please excuse my poor spelling and sometimes poor understanding.
I have not read all the comments (partly because i dont want my own thinking to be tainted by what others say and also because i am supposed to be writing an essay )
Recovery for me means that i learn the skills to cope with adult life without turning to self destructive method. It means that i learn my vale and worth is not tied up in who the world seems me as. It is shaking off the labels i have been given and owned and becoming myself in all my fullness and potential. It is accepting that life will not be perfect all the time, in every moment and every day- that i will still have bad days as its a normal human experience... but the bad days do not have to be the end of me or my life. it is know that tomorrow is a new day- that what ever came before has little bearing on what is in front of me.
Recovery is learning how to cope with painful memories, and emotions. Its learning to feel emotions and be okay feeling them- even when they hurt.
Recovery is loving myself.
Recovery is owning my past, rather then it owning me and not letting it consume my future. its putting all the bad things back on the timeline of my life where they belong instead of carrying them with me each day.
Recovery is accepting the(good) truth that is spoken over me.
recovery is noticing the world around me and having passion again to solve social problems, to help those in need. Yet also being selfish and saying i cant always help everyone else. Its being okay with not be a rescuer/savior/martyr... because i am human and need to look after myself too.
The BRAVEST thing
I ever did was CONTINUING MY LIFE when I wanted to die.
Recovery for me means a complete absence of symptoms for the rest of my life, and this is what I am aiming for. Not just a temporary period without symptoms (ie "remission"), but a permanent absence of symptoms, which I have already done with anorexia, and I'm almost there with PTSD (it hardly ever flares up now, perhaps last time was six months ago)
I think that I always wanted to help others. I have only recently come to understand the difference between an "illness" story and a "recovery" story.
My experience is that persons may essentially think if you are "well" or "stable" that you are no longer "ill". I have degrees to my name, ability to hold several odd jobs and I was in what I thought was a positive relationship up until recently.
I suppose I am at the stage of recovery where I knew/ know that I am not coping and could put significant things in place to stay well/ safe/ or anything close to it. In the process I literally got the rug pulled out from under me. EVERYONE thinks they are helping by telling me how strong I am.
Recovery for me is choice-and control. I know what I want to stay well, I'm not getting it, so in my opinion I am still telling my illness story. For others, where I am in my life looks pretty darn good.
Recovery is perspective.
~Happy tomatoes together we will be~
You say toe- may- toe, I say toe- mah- toe:
Let's call the whole thing- red
“It’s time to lead the third revolution, which is not to say we want to be at the top of the world, but to say we want to change the world. Because the way the world has been designed by men is not working. It’s not working for women, it’s not working for men,
it’s not working for polar bears.” Arianna Huffington 2014
Sorry. I might be in a majority of one but I think use of the word recovery is a huge misnomer. (if that's a word) Recovery means going back to what things were like before. That's what the dictionary says. However I think in the majority of cases that doesn't happen with mental illness. Sometimes it does like in an isolated episode of depression but mostly it doesn't. Mostly it's a chronic illness like my asthma or rheumatoid arthritis or diabetes. There might be periods when I feel better , perhaps even could use the words "in recovery" but I know it's not permanent therefore I haven't recovered and it drives me nuts when professionals use the word recovery in relation to mental illness. I think management of the illness is the correct term. Using "recovery" to me is dishonest and can do 2 things. It either gives you false hope or can even lead to guilty feelings when we are not so well- we're not living up to our recovery. Now I know some people like the term and feel it gives them hope and I wouldn't want to take that away from anyone but the term is not for me. I try to manage my mental health as I do my physical health. Mental health really is physical because the brain is not working as it should and the brain is an organ just like my pancreas is an organ that's not working properly. That's my take on it anyway. Maybe I just belong with the grammar police! ;>)
Last edited by Gofeen : 03-06-2015 at 01:57 AM.
Reason: typo
Sorry. I might be in a majority of one but I think use of the word recovery is a huge misnomer. (if that's a word) Recovery means going back to what things were like before. That's what the dictionary says. However I think in the majority of cases that doesn't happen with mental illness. Sometimes it does like in an isolated episode of depression but mostly it doesn't. Mostly it's a chronic illness like my asthma or rheumatoid arthritis or diabetes. There might be periods when I feel better , perhaps even could use the words "in recovery" but I know it's not permanent therefore I haven't recovered and it drives me nuts when professionals use the word recovery in relation to mental illness. I think management of the illness is the correct term. Using "recovery" to me is dishonest and can do 2 things. It either gives you false hope or can even lead to guilty feelings when we are not so well- we're not living up to our recovery. Now I know some people like the term and feel it gives them hope and I wouldn't want to take that away from anyone but the term is not for me. I try to manage my mental health as I do my physical health. Mental health really is physical because the brain is not working as it should and the brain is an organ just like my pancreas is an organ that's not working properly. That's my take on it anyway. Maybe I just belong with the grammar police! ;>)
I personally find it very sad when people say things like this, fully believing they'll never fully recover and they'll always have problems due to their brain 'not working'. The brain is unlike any other organ, the heart does one thing, and yes, it can malfunction, and yes, the brain can be physically damaged which can (not will) lead to stuff like personality changes, the can is very important, if your heart fails, you WILL die (for the sake of argument let's forget about medical treatment (or miracles) for this post), but if you get a brain injury, you MAY have psychological changes, but then again, you might not, even if you did have for example personality changes due to physical brain injury, you might revert back to your old personality at a later date. The brain is perhaps the only organ which the sum is more than its parts, the heart is a pump, the lungs handle air, and the bladder holds pee, but the physical aspects of the brain such as neurons and chemicals cannot possibly explain personality, or consciousness, or extrasensory perception for those who believe in it. Yes, the physical aspects and psychological aspects are linked, but, the brain isn't a computer (as implied by the neuron connections etc), or like any other organ (ie purely physical limitations). Therefore, I, an individual whom fully believes in (and has achieved, in the case of my anorexia I used to suffer from) full recovery, have an important question for you all...
"If you don't believe in full recovery, could that be precisely what is limiting your full recovery? Could it be the societal belief that you cannot recover from mental distress, or the belief that the brain is irreversibly damaged?"
I urge everyone to read this and think about it.
Feedback, is of course welcome, but everything I've written here is truly what I believe.
I have felt more "in recovery" and positive about my progress since I stopped aiming for full recovery. It used to make me so sad when people would talk about full recovery for one because the nature of my mental health means I'm not likely to achieve full recovery or at least if I do there is no guarantee that it will last. Recovery for me now means being able to get on with my life whilst not experiencing symptoms and being able to manage with life when I am. I have spent decades striving something that was a fantasy and unachieveable for me and being miserable. I feel like in the last year that I have accept the person I am. I have a mental health condition and that is ok I'm not going to let it stop me and that for me is incredibly liberating. I can take most of what it and life throws at me and that makes me happy yet when things do get too much I don't feel quite so much of a let down and a disappointment.
I feel as though I am almost recovered SI wise, I won't consider myself recovered until I am 5 years free. I am currently 11 days away from being 4 years free.
I consider myself recovered when I am in a job. Atm my health is not good enough for me is to even consider it. So being in work is a no-go.
Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson "I hear those voices that will not be drowned" Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013
Recovery for me now means being able to get on with my life whilst not experiencing symptoms and being able to manage with life when I am. I have spent decades striving something that was a fantasy and unachieveable for me and being miserable. I feel like in the last year that I have accept the person I am. I have a mental health condition and that is ok I'm not going to let it stop me and that for me is incredibly liberating.
This is how I feel about recovery and an acceptance I have had to come to as well. x
I personally find it very sad when people say things like this, fully believing they'll never fully recover and they'll always have problems due to their brain 'not working'. The brain is unlike any other organ, the heart does one thing, and yes, it can malfunction, and yes, the brain can be physically damaged which can (not will) lead to stuff like personality changes, the can is very important, if your heart fails, you WILL die (for the sake of argument let's forget about medical treatment (or miracles) for this post), but if you get a brain injury, you MAY have psychological changes, but then again, you might not, even if you did have for example personality changes due to physical brain injury, you might revert back to your old personality at a later date. The brain is perhaps the only organ which the sum is more than its parts, the heart is a pump, the lungs handle air, and the bladder holds pee, but the physical aspects of the brain such as neurons and chemicals cannot possibly explain personality, or consciousness, or extrasensory perception for those who believe in it. Yes, the physical aspects and psychological aspects are linked, but, the brain isn't a computer (as implied by the neuron connections etc), or like any other organ (ie purely physical limitations). Therefore, I, an individual whom fully believes in (and has achieved, in the case of my anorexia I used to suffer from) full recovery, have an important question for you all...
"If you don't believe in full recovery, could that be precisely what is limiting your full recovery? Could it be the societal belief that you cannot recover from mental distress, or the belief that the brain is irreversibly damaged?"
I urge everyone to read this and think about it.
Feedback, is of course welcome, but everything I've written here is truly what I believe.
Because actually full recovery isn't possible for a lot of mental health conditions. Like some physical health problems they can be life long and impossible to not deal with. Tbh I personally find this sort of attitude very offensive to read. What gives someone the right to say that the only reason someone can't recover is because they think they can't??
A lot of people on this site have struggled with mental health issues all their lives and to be told that all you need to think is that you can fully recover is not just offensive but also ignorant.
Im not saying you aren't entitled to this opinion at all. But as someone who has been told that I am likely to have mental health issues all my life by several professionals I am really upset that you feel all I need to do is think 'I can recover from this' are you going to say that to people with cancer, MS and other medical conditions?
Anyway, in answer to the original question. Recovery for me is essentially the same as remission. By that I mean that I am able to do things without having to take days afterwards to recover from it.
Recovery for me is pretty much being able to cope and manage stressful situations and emotions without resorting to destructive actions [ie SH or otherwise] it's also being able to manage my mental illnesses in a way that doesn't require resorting to anything harmful.
I'm still working on dealing with stress and so forth in a healthy way but have noticed that my first thing I think about when stressed is more often then not, NOT something self destructive anymore. there are some things still that I need to work on in terms of recovery and I am and there are days where I still slip up and there will probably be more days like that in the future but I've noticed that I have more "slips" then I have "full scale relapses" [be it SI or other] lately.
I also prefer not to count days free for myself because I find that it leads to me inadvertently putting a lot more pressure on myself which leads to a relapse. [this is just me though] I find that if I don't mark days free and so on that I'm less anxious and feel less pressured to not disappoint people.
I'm not sure if that's weird :/
“Because everything that goes around comes around. Maybe it's luck or maybe it's fate, but either way, it comes back around."
Rest in Love Sar-sis. I'll see you the next time around hopefully <3 12/11/92-05/18/16
AJs mommy ❤️ 11/26/17
Married to my best friend and Soulmate 3/5/18 ❤️💍
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