Thoughts on scars (may or may not trigger)

[Lone Star]

So it's almost 3 years since I stopped self harming, however the scars are still clearly visible. I'm pretty sure I'll be stuck with em like that for an extremely long time. This isn't one of those "how can I make em go away" threads, considering that I know the location of em is FUBAR.

Being by myself for most of the time has made the scars issue really a thing that I acknowledge but don't really pay attention to it since well... I don't have to worry about "visibility", and I had accepted the fact that I was just gonna have to wear long sleeves in the summer no matter what.

However as of late, there has been a change in the game, and well even though I know nothing will happen (there's someone I met that I'd like to get to know better, but I know they just see me as someone that exists and nothing else) it got me thinking... how would I confront the scars issue if it ever became a legit topic (Why do you wear long sleeves in the summer, accidental slip ups that become "what happened to your arm", etc). I've managed to hide for the longest, that I forgot that curiosity can be a mutha.

How do you even acknowledge em on your own? As in do they bother you when you see em in recovery, or are they.... just there?

Thoughts/comments appreciated.

[Epicene]

I'm trying to stop self harming (not very successfully) so my opinion may well change if/when in future I'm self harm free.

My scars are extensive and all over my body, but I kind of don't notice them or see them as obviously as other people do. I guess I'm just used to them, but I also think its because I've seen the wounds at their worst and scarring is a lot better in comparison.

When people ask me I normally just say quite openly that its self harm. I'm not good at lying and most people just end up sympathetic or curious, rather than hostile or judgemental.

[MoNo]

between ~2011 (the last time i stopped cutting) and a week ago, i literally never wore long sleeves at all (unless cold). i honestly didnt care and my friends already knew since i was pretty close to all my friends at the time. nearly all my friends were girls too, much easier to talk to.

at that point i pretty much even forgot about them half the time, like unless someone said something i wouldnt even realise i had them lol. they were just there.

now, though... ya, i'm running the sleeves again lol.

[Bellatrix]

I tend to wear long sleeves around family and if I have fresh wounds I'll cover it with a tubi grip in case I need to take my cardigan off.

The rest of the time I forget they're there. I have quite significant burn scars with dents in my arm which are quite noticeable. I sometimes get paranoid about this and feel uncomfortable wearing short sleeves.

I'd say about 50% of the time I don't care.

[Lone Star]

I find it intriguing that people don't mind exposing the scars around total strangers than around family. I've always felt having them visible scares people away, which is something I can't afford at my current position in life. I'd love to be able to be comfortable in them (last time I had that luxury it was with someone that knew about it, even if they were the main reason I started to begin with, but different topic). Sometimes I wish I could go out in short sleeves and enjoy the weather but then I realize the consequences of those actions and I paid the price for it once, which to this day still hurts a lot but I can't do more than just learn from that experience (any references to scars = bad). In my personal time, I don't even think about em, but the other day I realized if I were to get close to someone, the topic would come up one day and I'm not well equipped to handle it. I lost someone over em once and I don't want that again, especially considering how hard it is for me to meet people to begin with.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Epicene

My scars are extensive and all over my body, but I kind of don't notice them or see them as obviously as other people do. I guess I'm just used to them, but I also think its because I've seen the wounds at their worst and scarring is a lot better in comparison.

When people ask me I normally just say quite openly that its self harm. I'm not good at lying and most people just end up sympathetic or curious, rather than hostile or judgemental.

It's kinda funny to me that you say that, since I was treated as if the scars were just as bad as when the wound first happened. Sometimes people would treat me as if I was a 2nd class citizen or something of the sort simply because of the fact that I had a bandage on. I've never met someone sympathetic and I almost went nuts thinking I had met someone that was hiding scars too (turned out they just got cold easily). I've heard so many messed up things about what others think about scars that it has become a bit of a catch 22 when it comes to me and my loneliness. In a way I'm happy that I am alone because no one will judge me for my scars and other disfigurements but at the same time I wish I had someone to talk to or have a relationship with although that's how the vicious cycle of the scar debate starts.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThePrincessOfDenial

I tend to wear long sleeves around family and if I have fresh wounds I'll cover it with a tubi grip in case I need to take my cardigan off.

I'm surprised the tubi-grip didn't attract attention. I had the similar ACE bandage wrap and that caused so much attention that after that summer I had given up on the short sleeve forever.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Auror.

I very rarely get asked though I do get stares. All the people who know me know I self harm and have in the past so it's nothing new to them.

I wish I had that luxury. My SH is a deep dark secret. Nobody knows in my current circle and those that did know saw me as the titanic sinking and ran far far away from me. I've only been lucky with that aspect that they didn't tell others. That would have been worse.

Sometimes I wish I met another ex cutter just to be able to relate to someone on another level... but that will always be nothing more than a dream.

[VMJ]

I stick to wearing long sleeves mostly to avoid questions and/or people gossiping. All was going fine until recently my work changed our shirts to short sleeve, I tried wearing longer tops underneath but it gets too hot. This has led to questions and increased anxiety issues for me. I make excuses or tell half truths when people ask- eg. burnt my arm taking something out of the oven, I have a cat who scratches, etc...

I don't mind what I look like but I do mind about others finding out.

[VMJ]

Also, I know of some people who have gotten tattoos either to try and cover their scars or inspiring quotes as a show of strength and what they've overcome

[Lone Star]

The idea of a tattoo has actually crossed my mind, I just don't know what would be a good idea to have. I've always thought about getting a 1969 or 1971 Camaro on the top portion of the scars, but never figured out what to do with the wrist area.

Quote:

Originally Posted by VMJ

I stick to wearing long sleeves mostly to avoid questions and/or people gossiping. All was going fine until recently my work changed our shirts to short sleeve, I tried wearing longer tops underneath but it gets too hot. This has led to questions and increased anxiety issues for me. I make excuses or tell half truths when people ask- eg. burnt my arm taking something out of the oven, I have a cat who scratches, etc...

I don't mind what I look like but I do mind about others finding out.

The major thing I don't like about the scars is that in the wrong state of mind, they remind me of 2 people. The person that I lost which triggered it and the person that chose not to talk to me because of the bandage I used to cover up. Ironically, one of my more noticeable scars stem from the day when I got this person's phone number. It was an emergency situation, I was scared to do it again. That person distracted me for the day and it was so beautiful... to this day it was the only time I really had what I've wanted... just someone to talk to, not necessarily about my issues but other things to distract me from things.