If you're overdosing what can the psych do?

Margo · 06-05-2015, 02:03 PM

Without giving numbers, let's just say I am taking a lot of diazepam a day/couple of days.

I know it's wrong. I know I'm stupid and I know I should know better. I told my care person at MIND yesterday and was 100% honest as I know I'm getting into dangerous waters.

He advised and offered to call my MHT team and inform them as I do not see them again until 19 May. My tolerance is building fast and soon I fear I will be taking ridiculous amounts.

I told him I would call the ICT team (intensive community therapy team) but I haven't.

I haven't because I'm scared they will take them off me or chastise me. I know that's stupid.

I'm not actively suicidal and it's not my intention to kill myself on them, but they help me lose days I'd rather not be living. They stop the world I don't want to be a part of.

I promised I'd ring by Friday and call him and let him know.

I'm scared. I don't know what will happen. Was only a week ago on Monday I got a new psych.

I know I'm old enough to know, but what would you do?

Margo · 06-05-2015, 02:05 PM

I've been buying the medication online also. Which, again, is not sensible.

sherlock holmes · 06-05-2015, 02:45 PM

With the amount you've been taking I think in order to stop you'd need to be medically supervised as you are weaned off, otherwise you will be at serious risk of seizures and other potentially life threatening effects.

I definitely think you should ring and say how much you've been taking, and get some support in stopping ASAP. As you've already said your tolerance is high and the higher dose you take the more dangerous it will be to taper off. Not to mention you are at risk of dying every time you take the OD.

If I were in your situation I'd ask for help, definitely.

Snow White. · 06-05-2015, 02:51 PM

I don't know if they could take them off you. But life must be feeling pretty **** if you're wanting to miss days at a time - and a psychologist could help you deal with that core problem while also managing the drug use. Eventually the hope would be you wouldn't need the doses you're taking as you build other skills to get through each day.

Please call and get the help you need, I know it's scary but it's worth it so much.

Arienette · 06-05-2015, 03:02 PM

Quote:

. But life must be feeling pretty **** if you're wanting to miss days at a time - and a psychologist could help you deal with that core problem while also managing the drug use.

This. They might be able to get your more support or alter your meds.

I was in a similar place a few months ago ,just ODing to miss days and time, rather than wanting to die. In the end I got more support and help - and a med change: and i'm not in as a bad a place as i was then. Maybe they could do something similar for you?

x

Epicene · 06-05-2015, 04:51 PM

Like others have said, try not to panic about what they will do in response. They won't want to put you at risk of withdrawals and are likely to want to support you and avoid any further triggers. But it is really important that your team know, otherwise this could easily spiral further and will be much harder to move on from.

Charmed · 06-05-2015, 07:41 PM

I echo what others have said, it sounds like you're in a really distressing period at the moment and would really benefit from some extra support. Please try and tell your team so they can offer you the support you deserve and need, they are only there to try and keep you safe and support you. Overdosing is always dangerous and this could have a serious long term effect on your health. I hope you're able to discuss this with your team.

ParanormalChickenGeek · 06-05-2015, 07:42 PM

Perfect advice given already. Please tell your MH team, they won't chastise you or take them off you- they're not allowed to do that. But they can help you reduce your usage and prescribe you diazepam in a safe manner, ie not resulting in you buying God knows what online.
Keep safe x

Margo · 07-05-2015, 02:49 AM

Thank you . I really scared.

Snow White. · 07-05-2015, 02:52 AM

I understand it's scary, do you want to talk a bit about why you feel scared?

We are here for you so you're not alone xxx

finding.my.wings · 07-05-2015, 05:03 AM

im with talking to them :0 i know its really hard to do and you risk alot but by overdosing you risk alot too. In my experience (as ive done similar) they only want to help you, they will help you come off them safely, they will work with you to build up other ways of coping. Can you get anyone (friends/family/ partner etc) to come with you when you tell them? The sooner you're able to tell them the better and they will appreciate your honestly. they may appear mad or angry at you but thats not entirly true- they simp,y care and want to help.

Margo · 07-05-2015, 02:20 PM

Thank tou all for listening and the kind replies. Aimee I'm scared because I know what I'm doing dangerous. I'm scared because I've scared my family so badly over the years I don't want to hurt them any more. I'm frightened I'll be locked up. Frightened I'll have to face myself most of all. I hate what I see and what I've become.

I don't want people to think m more of a failure than I already am. I feel if they know I'm taking drugs too that they will think less of me.

The people at MIND have said they will speak to the mht for me. So I have back up if needed. I don't think I could tell my father. There is no one else nearby.

ill be ok.

Thank you for letting me sound off

Matthew x

Margo · 09-05-2015, 12:19 PM

I didn't call the MH team. I didn't call my guy at MIND either. Saw friends and stayed clean Wednesday night and then took a big ish amount Thursday and double last night.

The options team called yesterday. I didn't answer. They are the equivalent of a MH occ therapy team. They give you kicks up the arse to get you back into society and try to find you voluntary or paid work etc. it's how I got involved with the farm in the past.

The appointment is for Tuesday and I need to call Monday to confirm. Thing is I don't want want to. I'm too scared to even face the thought of going through that whole process again.

The come down from the benzos makes me more depressed and I've been reading up all morning about other pills. Considering buying some prescription sleepers and mixing them.

I'm pretending to be more jolly than ever at home. Explaining the wobbly mess on the increase in Ads. My family are buying it.

I'm so scared there's just no point. I've been through it all before and I'm back exactly where I started. Same psych, same MH teams, just different staff.

Feel so ashamed. Feel the biggest failure

My dad told my bother about my A&E. I dunno why as we hardly speak. I saw him yesterday and he just said he sat in his bed and felt sad. He said he didn't speak to me cus he would have just shouted.

I'm a middle aged man. Im acting like a child. I am so ashamed of myself.