Everything feels weird and I'm an angel, and no one believes me
Everything feels weird. I know I'm an angel but im feeling extra spacey and floaty compared to usual.
I finding reading hard, and things that shouldn't move keep moving. My vision is blurry and I have no idea why.
Yesterday when I was trying to talk I kept getting blocked by something, I don't know how I am today I've not had to speak to anyone yet.
I feel really unmotivated but I'm not sure if that's an effect from my OD's this week (all the meds I took are calming/sedating)
Or if it is just me that is unmotivated
And I'm getting annoyed because no one believes me that im invincible.
i am in Starbucks and there is another girl in my class here. She is writing. I need to ask her if she is wet rioting observations about me because I feel like she is spying on me. I'm nervous in case it turns into another fight.
I just don't feel comfortable.
I don't know what I'm asking for. Does anyone relate. Is anyone else here an angel who can help back me up and prove people wrong?
Im sorry to hear how ur feeling. Your not on ur own as Cacoethes feels the same way. I know when u feel like no one believes how u really feel but all we can do is try and reach out to someone who understands.
Are u seeing a doctor or counseller about this? Seems like u could with going back to the doctor and asking for some extra help. Would this be a good idea?
I know u dont have the motivation but its good that u can speak to us on here and we wont judge or anything. Do u think theres more then one or two things going on at the moment? You mentioned about the girl in ur class writing something down about u. Are u sure they were checking up on u?
Maybe speak to the girl and just check if u and her are ok. Just be poliet about it and say only that.
I can see that you have some firm beliefs at the moment about being an angel, invincible, and like people might be spying on you. It does seem to me like those might be delusions. I know that's hard to think about, especially as it feels so real to you.
Can you talk to a doctor, maybe your psychiatrist, about this? If it were true then they'd be able to confirm it. And if it's a delusion they'd be able to treat it. So it's win-win really.
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
I can definitely relate to no one believing me when I talk about what I experience (I also feel I'm immortal/invincible, amongst other things), and I know how frustrating that can be!
Have you sought any medical attention for the ODs? As although you may feel fine, sometimes overdoses can do damage to your organs that is unnoticable until it's permanent.
For the floaty/spacey feeling, is there anything you could do to try to ground yourself? For example, smelling scented candles or pressing down on a hard surface, anything really that helps you stay present.
Also, seconding (thirding? is that a word?) speaking to a doctor about this if you half can :)
I got 136d by trying to pore my invincibility because it wa going to be so epic as unbelivable that I wante someone to record it.
Police came. Handcuffed in the van for like 4 hours and now I'm in 136 waiting for a social worker to come. I don't wen know what a social worker has to do with this.
I feel drained. I've been stuck in the same room for 13 hours for what? It's so stupid. They just can't accept that I'm gifted and they're normal.
I mean, I don't see Harry potter being sectioned for being a wizard or anything!!!
Another cage in the back of another van at midnight because that's when you transfer people obviously.
I'm super nervous about the new ward and after freaking out because the walls were moving about and my head was jumping outside of my body in a warp kind of way they gave me prometheazine and I was basically stoned into a slumber.
Then I got used to my room.
Tbh this all seems so out of hand and ridiculous over reacting.
I mean I'm sat in a ****ing cage. Like a ****ing animal or criminal. I'm only an angel of invincibility and a secret genius.
That's good stuff surely.
If they ruin my education they'll be sorry because it will impact the future of this country's progress. They've all akcnoedged how incrediy smart I am so tey should know really not to **** with the future.
It sounds like you're in the best place right now even if it feels really tough and scary. You'll be looked after by the doctors and nurses and once you're more stable you'll appreciate how ill you were when you were sectioned.
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
I just really don't feel Ill. I'm at Lambeth which is jut a huge mh hospital and I can hear people screaming and ****. My ward is quiet everyone is morbid except one girl who is near my age
Well 18
I just can't wait for ward round so they can let me home. I'm just auibv football in the garden on my own, I just don't have nag other clothes thbough and I'm drenched.
Well well ������������
They've put mh meds way up. It's annoying because they have put it up too much and after one lot of the new dose I feel so sleepy and zombie like they've ruined my fun, and they're trying to ruin my gift to make me like them.
My dose isn't high by standards but I'm v sensitive to meds.
Dose increases make me super sleepy for the first few days too, hopefully it will pass quickly.
Did they explain why they had put them up so much? I find the dose of my medication that stops me being high is quite different from a dose that keeps me stable and that stops me being depressed. It can be a case of just optimising the dose for different interactions in the body depending on how you are doing at the time.
I know it can feel like they are taking the fun away but they are taking away the risk and the bad stuff too, hopefully once some of the drowsiness wears off there will still be fun you too.
I'm on a new ward and it's really hard here. I can't go out and have already flipped at a nurse because he was being a p**** about PRN.
They said ask for it if you need it so I did bc voices were causing me issues an I was getting very distressed then he messed about giving it to me and said how am i gonna cope in the community without demanding drugs.
So I flipped and got told off but eff him. I got it on the end though so his lecture that doing that wouldn't get me y way with PRN was pointless because essentially I did. If you look at it like that.
My temper is so short before I go crazy and get aggressive. It's weird. I'm either super happy or super aggressive. I've flipped and thrown **** at people loads now I don't even understand. I'm not normally so quick to BE aggressive. I have aggressive thoughts but now I literally am lashing out constantly. It's weird.
I can see the board and I'm a risk in 3 categories that are numbered so I don't know what. On the last board I was only a risk in 2, self and others. I wonder what the third can be.
The nurses in here on the day are rubbish. Seriously they're terrible.
And I've not been outside since being moved here.
And my friends are being massively useless and unsupportive. Makes you realise who your friends are when you're stuck in these kinda of situations. But I'm not worried. It's cool. I'm a cool person so I can make more. Not a problem.
I am getting frustrated but drawing helped me process my anger.
And they forgot quetiapine in my dose tonight which I'm happy about.
So I'm gonna have a party in my room all night long!!!!
I'm sorry to hear what a rubbish time you're having. It does sound like the staff are being inconsistent and I can relate to how difficult that is, especially if you're stuck inside without leave. Well done for drawing to express your anger safely though, that sounds like a good way of managing the aggression.
Sorry to hear about your friends being so unsupportive too, that must be really upsetting. It's okay to feel put out by that, I would be too. But if nothing else there's plenty of us here on RYL who are rooting for you and are here to listen.
Thanks. I was woken up by my favourite nurse this morning and we had a chat. He's really lovely and rational and I explained to him about what happened yesterday and he said it didn't sound very good. So I feel more justified in my feelings.
My mum is coming to see me today which is nice and ex mrs tomorrow who is being very supportive. I didn't really sleep last night because I was too energetic and happy so I spoke to ex mrs all night until staff said I had to go I my room at 5 or so.
I'll PM you epicine it corrected that to epic one. My autocorrect thinks you're awesome lol.
