There is no one to talk to and nowhere to go...... Part of me wants to cry but i know it'll just turn into hysterical sobbing if i do..... Ran out of space to cut on..... Don't dare byuing a proper knife as i will be too tempted to cut deep.... If i cut deep again i will die.... I cannot control myself, and i know this.....
I try to speak but it's like i can't get around to the important things..... And it makes me so angry that people stare at my wounds and assume all sorts of things about me..... If i don't cut how else can i survive????
I am tired but if i go and lie down my head will fill with unpleasant thoughts...... I feel like i'm breaking and even though people see this and acknowlegde it i do not dare to speak..... The tears well up but i cannot let them see me cry..... I cry in solitude. It has always been this way and it will always be this way..... I cannot let them see me break.....
I have been doing so well. I was so happy. Now it kinda feels like it was all a big fat lie because pain is lurking just beneath the surface...... And these ****ing flashbacks just add fuel to the fire......
I want my mum..... I know it sounds childish.... But i feel so alone.....
