Struggling with depression/work/money. Any advice?

Lilo · 15-02-2015, 11:19 PM

I have been off work sick since the beginning of January due to suffering a severe bout of depression. My sicknote runs out on Thursday although I know I’m not ready to go back to work fulltime as just getting out of bed/eating/showering/leaving my flat is a struggle at the moment. Unfortunately my sick pay is going to stop at the end of next week and I really can’t afford to take any more time off as my pay for January barely covered my rent/bills and I’m only a few pounds from going into my unarranged overdraft.

I’m going to go back to work on amended hours for maybe the first week as I can’t really afford to stay off much longer. I am hoping my manager will be understanding although I didn’t disclose the depression on my application as I really thought I wouldn’t get as bad as it has. Unfortunately my colleagues are very gossipy and I am very nervous about them judging me/talking about me behind my back. My job is very customer based and I am also worried that I won’t be able to fake being in a good mood for my 9/12 hour shifts as at the moment I’m finding it hard to talk to my Dad/Best Friend let alone strangers for hours on end.

So I was kind of just wondering if anyone had any advice?
(Also I’m sorry this is so badly written!)

SoDark · 16-02-2015, 12:20 AM

I don't know if I have a lot of advice but I understand and am in a very similar position. It was helpful to work three days a week for two weeks but could not afford more than that. I am going to therapy two times a week for extra support and working on time management to avoid extra hours at work. The depression does not stop. I found that some honesty with my supervisor was helpful but I guess it depends on the job. I really hope that you feel better.

BeAmazingYou · 16-02-2015, 02:18 AM

First of all - don't sorry for anything. You are doing the best you can. I think you need to go down deep to figure what is that you don't like so much going to work? Write it down on the piece of paper. I read somewhere that our brain does better with written information. There should be a reason why you don't want to go there. Is that you are not interested in that kind of work? Or you don't like your co-workers? What is the reason for that? Also, there could be deeper reason, such as (am I am just giving example, not really telling that is you. I don't know you, so I am just giving example) have limiting beliefs about your success in life. I read that if an individual grow up with a father who couldn't hold a job, then children copy that behavior as being loyal. I know, it is all messed up, but that is how brain works, I heard. Or did you grew up hearing that there will be nothing good about you and you will fail. So you really need to ask yourself what is the reason you don't want to go there?

Unbreakable. · 16-02-2015, 05:06 AM

^

Did you even read the first post?
The thread is not about not wanting to go to work but about suffering from depression and how that affects Lilo‘s ability to work which then again affects her income.

Lovelyface, I'm not sure what to suggest.
Do you have the option of a back to work meeting to discuss what they can do to make your return easier on you?
Do you get any longterm support for your depression?

About your coworkers : I personally feel it might be worth considering just letting them now because that way they wouldn't speculate and make up stuff. But if you'd rather keep your mh issues private all you can do really is to try and be okay with the gossip.
I can relate to a certain extend as whilst my coworkers are lovely they also gossip a lot and I would definitely feel just as anxious about it as you.

Sending lots of love your way and if you ever do feel like talking message me any time <3

Lilo · 16-02-2015, 07:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alpha Bitch Reloaded

^

Did you even read the first post?
The thread is not about not wanting to go to work but about suffering from depression and how that affects Lilo‘s ability to work which then again affects her income.

Lovelyface, I'm not sure what to suggest.
Do you have the option of a back to work meeting to discuss what they can do to make your return easier on you?
Do you get any longterm support for your depression?

About your coworkers : I personally feel it might be worth considering just letting them now because that way they wouldn't speculate and make up stuff. But if you'd rather keep your mh issues private all you can do really is to try and be okay with the gossip.
I can relate to a certain extend as whilst my coworkers are lovely they also gossip a lot and I would definitely feel just as anxious about it as you.

Sending lots of love your way and if you ever do feel like talking message me any time <3

I will be having a return to work meeting with my manager when I do go back. I am going to ask to work shorter days for a week and to only be put on certain counters/tasks which they should legally agree to. So hopefully that will make the return to work a bit less daunting.

I'm currently just seeing my Doctor for support with the depression as I was fine/functioning for 3 months and then the depression just came out of nowhere so I didn't really have any support in place.

I am assuming that a few of my colleagues will know that I'm off for mental health/depression as a few months ago when I was in the canteen at work with about 8 other people in my section one of the assistant managers came in and and loudly announced to our table that a colleague was going to be off sick for 2 months due to Stress. Then the assistant manager, and most of the people at the table, starting gossiping about the sick colleague. So unfortunately I'm not really expecting much support when I go back.

Lilo · 16-02-2015, 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Auror.

Perhaps if you try going back with less hours and it still does not work, then your manager could see you are trying and find a way to extend your leave and pay?

I also wonder if you have any support for your depression, or anyone who could help you with things as it sounds like you are still really struggling. Could you look into any kind of disability or short term health leave that would still allow you to pay your rent and bills?

As far as coworkers, I mostly just said I was ill when I came back from long absences. I had a couple coworkers I was closer with who knew it was mental health stuff or even more specifics, and I trusted them to have my back and stick up for me if people talked. That said, a lot of people are more understanding of depression and other things than you'd think. You would know your coworkers best, but sometimes it's easier to be up front and admit to it, and you'd be surprised what kind of support people can offer.

I am going to ask to go back for 3 days in the first week and do 6 hour shifts and then 5 days in the second week and do 7 hour shifts so I can ease myself back into work but not be completely skint next payday. Unfortunately sick pay is based on how long I've been with the company so I don't think my manager would be able to give me more sick pay even if she wanted to.

I am currently seeing my Doctor for my depression and I don't currently have any other support for it as I was fine/functioning for 3 months so didn't see the need to be referred to the CMHT. My depression seems to go in cycles of being fine for a few months and then rapidly becoming depressed and then recovering so discharging myself from services until the next breakdown.

As I am technically employed full time I can't claim benefits from the government and if I could they usually take around 4/6 weeks to be paid. I looked into grants from my local council but they are also for people only on benefits. I did look into claiming PIP which is a disability payment but I don't think my depression is severe enough and those claims can take upto 6 months. So really my only option is to get back to working full time as soon as possible.

I am assuming that a few of my colleagues will know that I'm off for mental health/depression as a few months ago when I was in the canteen at work with about 8 other people in my section one of the assistant managers came in and and loudly announced to our table that a colleague was going to be off sick for 2 months due to Stress. Then the assistant manager, and most of the people at the table, starting gossiping about the sick colleague. So unfortunately I'm not really expecting much support when I go back.

random.swirls · 16-02-2015, 08:13 PM

If your company sick pay runs out you would be entitled to statutory sick pay.

If you are entitled to that you can claim ESA. Payment shouldn't take as long as 6 weeks

Serialangel · 17-02-2015, 12:46 AM

Hopefully your GP can back you up on the idea of a staggered return with a note from them just in case your line manager isn't supportive.

I'm in a similar-ish situation (in that I'm really suffering with my MH but need to work for money) but I am applying for longer term part time work and PIP as CMHT and friends who are on it said that I had a good case, so it's still worth looking into it when you have recurring depressive episodes, even if it can't help in the short term, it can help plan for the future. I would also speak to Mind who have a phoneline specifically relating to work so they may have lots of helpful information.

But above all, be kind to you, your health has to come first x