Fear of confrontation

Jwal90 · 20-01-2015, 06:47 PM

Hi everyone,

I'm just looking for a bit of advice. I just witnessed an altercation between a couple outside my house, they were arguing initially but then began to wrestle. At one point, the guy picked up a piece of wood from my driveway and held it up to strike her but then threw it in the road.

Every part of me wanted to go out there and ask her if she was ok but I was too fearful. My heart started pounding almost like I was having a panic attack. Naturally I called the police but by the time they turned up the couple had gone.

I'm ashamed that I couldn't go out there and at least ask if she was ok. I realized that I am generally fearful of any confrontation, verbal or physical.

I believe it stems from a time where my dad and I were attacked with glass bottles by two guys but for as long as I can remember I have always feared fighting.

Is this normal and is there any way for me to deal with the problem?

Amaranth · 20-01-2015, 07:12 PM

I think it is totally understandable, especially given your past experience.
I hate confrontation too, and don't really have any advice, I just wanted you to know that you're not alone and that you don't need to feel about it. You did the right thing calling the police, it may have inflamed the situation if you intervened and you could have ended up getting hurt.

ajrocks · 20-01-2015, 11:43 PM

I think most people would definitely think twice about it too regardless of what had happened in their past because unfortunately in this day and age you just don't know what people have on them or how they may react especially him already being angry so i think you did all you could.theirs no point you getting hurt-don't feel bad x

Lone Star · 21-01-2015, 10:26 AM

I'm the opposite, and I love confrontation. But usually the thing is people fear being hurt over something that doesn't involve them. That's why most wouldn't intervene. It's none of their business, it's not someone they know.

Pretty sad really, but that's the world we live in.

Don't feel bad you didn't go out there. It could have ended worse if you did.

Jwal90 · 22-01-2015, 09:18 PM

What got to me was the fact that the police turned up late and by the time they did the couple had gone. She was clutching at her stomach and I'm just concerned for her.

I drove around for ages looking for them but couldn't find them.

I'm thinking maybe taking up a martial art would be a good way for me to learn to control the adrenaline I get when in a confrontation?

Lone Star · 23-01-2015, 08:41 AM

Well that's not surprising, the police never do anything other than harass citizens.

MMA would be something else that you could look into. it is a very intense sport, but also fun from what I've heard.