Dealing with parents when you're an adult

[mrsampersand]

Sorry if this ends up long.

I've been in a bad place lately with my mental health and after my last hospitalization I decided to withdraw from university and move back in with my parents (they are in a larger city and I have a lot of better treatment options). Unfortunately, it took a long time to get into any sort of program/in to see anyone and in the time I've been home I've had two incidents of SI. One they found out about and the other I told them about it myself. They knew that I've struggled with this for a long time and now that they know our policy is for me to be as honest with them as possible, which I'm trying to do.

But since the last time they've decided the best way to "help" me is to forbid me to leave the house without them. This limits my contact with the outside world to basically therapy and treatment. I'm legally an adult, but my mother told me that if I decided to leave against her will she would call the police and tell them that I was a danger to myself. I've explained to her that I'm not at all suicidal, though I have been in the past, but she doesn't want to listen. I'm currently seeing a therapist, in an intensive outpatient program, and scheduled to see a psychiatrist. She is driving me to all of these appointments (as she won't let me drive) but complains about it at the same time.

Our relationship has never been good and I really think this is more about controlling me than trying to keep me safe. She hasn't removed the handful of items I told her were triggering to me and when I try to talk to her about things that are stressful she only starts yelling about how no one cares about her feelings. My parents house has always been a difficult place for me but these new restrictions are almost unbearable. Being on "house-arrest" also limits how much of my program I can follow because they encourage us not to isolate and to be around friends.

I've tried offering to call them when I get to where I'm going/when I leave and to let them check my bag for alcohol/razors when I come home, but neither one has worked. I just keep feeling more and more trapped.

Any ideas on how to get them to loosen the leash a little?

[Unbreakable.]

Can you arrange for them to come to one of your therapy appointments? Maybe your therapist can be a kind of mediator.

[Epicene]

This is really tough. Do you think your parents would actually call the police if you went out without them? I ask because if they did, and it was apparent you were not in crisis or at risk of hurting yourself, there is very little the police could do. That in itself might prove that you're safe to go out alone, albeit a slightly extreme way of proving a point.

I think in all honesty you need to say what you've said here; that you are an adult, that you need your own space and that time outside helps you feel better. Maybe negotiate going out for just an hour or two so your parents know when to expect you back and gradually extend that as they realise going out is okay.

[mat]

You just tell em how it is youre an adult they shouldnt have to check for razors or whatever. not to be so rude but the heck your adult. Grow up youre not little... leash will be loosened.