So I'm applying for work in the NHS, which has a "bare below the elbow" policy. How do I explain my scars to patients? Do I lie to children? How do I remain polite and professional of someone is rude/ignorant about them? What excuses have you used?
I don't work in the NHS or with a bare below the elbow rule but I can give you a few ideas of what I've said to who in the past....
- to a colleague "I have a dark past and that's all you need to know"
- to a small child "I was attacked by a shark"
- to a family member of a friend "I didn't handle being a teenager very well"
Perhaps you could ask HR whether they have any advice for you?
Sophie.x
Soon... Now will be then...Today will be yesterday... Present will be past...And thought will be memory... So...Live for the future! Make your future how you want it!
I reckon with patients you could just say that you don't like to talk about it and then change the subject?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sooty
to a small child "I was attacked by a shark"
Do you not find that that creates more questions? I cover my arms at work (I'm a teacher) but was caught off guard one time and a child asked me and I panicked and told her I'd been attacked by a lion. She had many, many questions after that and I wished I'd chosen a different response!
I was helping teach a dance class full of 3 year olds at the time and I think I made the shark comment and then quickly went on to something else so didn't give her the chance to ask questions. Not sure about older children as they are more inquisitive. I have thought about what I would say if any of the older kids I teach dance to ask and I think I would say something like "I'll tell you when you're older". Or perhaps ask them "What do you think they are" or "How do you think they happen" and agreeing with something they come up with.
Sophie.x
Soon... Now will be then...Today will be yesterday... Present will be past...And thought will be memory... So...Live for the future! Make your future how you want it!
I just wanted to say that I was in A&E and the nurse treating me had obvious SH scars on her wrists and all the way up her arms but the thing is I'd been in the bed for about an hour and a half and I only noticed when I glanced across the room and saw her sat doing paperwork, I never noticed when she was treating me until after that point so tbh I'm not sue how many will notice and, even if they do I think far fewer will ask.
I don't work in the nhs but in a nursing home so have to wear short sleeves.
I just tell people I used to suffer from depression and that tends to work without revealing too much.
When my sister was younger and asked about my scars, I used to just say that I hadn't been very well.
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
I used to work in a hospital and I found not very many people noticed or most were too polite to ask - I probably had about 5 questions total in the year I worked there. I was just honest about the fact I used to self-harm but that I'm fine now. With children I'd approach it a little differently; I would either say there are some personal questions you don't ask people as it can be rude, or I'd say I was ill and it left marks on my arms.
I hope that helps, try not to worry too much about it because you will find it to be less of an issue than you expect x
Wow thankyou for all these replies. They have been really helpful and put my mind at ease :) I'll just go with the flow and see what happens. I'll probably ask occupational health when I have my check or my manager. And this is all if I even get any of the HCA jobs I'm applying for.
Hiya I work in a school and have been asked a few times by children and because they are actually on my shoulders most of them it is an unusual place (was trying to hide them with t-shirts in past) so people don't generally put 2 and 2 together so I think i actually get asked a lot more because people are generally puzzled :( to the kids I say oh they've always been there very vaguely then change the subject or sometimes I can get away with I've just itched my arms is all (they are white so i can just about get away with it temporarily).to adults well that has always been a tricky one most of the time i get embarrassed and say its nothing sometimes if its someone i know better then that then i have said i had a difficult past.most people won't go any further as they feel embarrassed to have asked in the first place-which quite frankly if they are an adult then i think they should be its rude.I hope it goes well for you as someone has mentioned its quite common for people to not notice even the most obvious scars,you'd be surprised :)
"And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back so shake him off."
Hey
I've worried for nhs for 9years and have to be bare below elbow, I've been asked by about 5 patients in that whole time, 1 or 2 obviously guessed the real reason & were people I'd seen again and again for years, but others just generally were asking about a particular scar. I think to anyway that sh's we picked up on it so quick and easy but to people that don't they may not have ever heard about it or seen it , certainly not some of the older generation. Even staff who I've worked with for years don't know, majority just think I'm clumsy (which I am). When patients have asked I usually just say that I have hypertrophic scarring so the slightest scratch I scar badly, which is true but obviously they weren't accidental. You will be fine, don't let it hold you back. :) xx
this pic is so i can always remember jen who was my l'il sock monkey friend who has left ryl and i miss her!!!
I'm a student nurse and although I've only spent a couple of months on the ward in total, only one patient and NO staff members have said anything :) And that one patient thought it was a dog attack!
As for what you say, it depends on who's asking I think. Make a joke about it if the person is up for a bit of banter, say something along the lines of "I went through a rocky patch" if you can see they're genuinely concerned. To be honest, if you're working in a ward then most people will be too focussed on yanno, being ill and all that :p If possible I try to hide my arms from view when I first introduce myself to patients, and make sure a friendly smile is the first impression they get, not an armful of scars. Good luck with the application!
i've never used excuses or hide my scars in anyway. although i think the services i have worked in are in some ways more understanding than NHS. most of the clients i work with have been understanding because they too have been there and walked that journey.
I work with secondary school kds and I just say they are ld scars and leave it at that they accept it normally it helps some kds tbh cus they don't see u as a person that has mo clue
I work in healthcare & my SH scars makes me very uncomfortable. Scars I tend to be able to get away with depends how deep/big yours are.. It's the newer cuts that are a problem. I usually don't SH on my forearms unless things are real bad! But it has a chance of infection etc...
With scars - I say 'Aww I was in an accident' or 'I know there not nice are they' or 'they happened s long time ago'
Hope you get the job
I'm fortunate enough now that I'm one of the managerial team so less people ask... But it also shows that mentsl health problems shouldn't stop you getting a job or progressing in it!
I don't understand myself... I'm searching for the person I am, and the person I want to be..
I work in the NHS, though luckily in the mental health field so it's generally more acceptable to wear long sleeves in practice. I always wear a cardigan or a jumper, even in the summer, to avoid any uncomfortable situations regarding my scars; either with colleagues or patients. My scars on my arms are over ten years old now but are still fairly visible, especially when you know what you're looking for (which my colleagues and patients certainly do!).
I have had one or two incidences where I rolled my sleeves up and patients have asked, one who I had a very good therapeutic relationship with, I did admit it was historical SH and moved on quickly, whereas the other I didn't know well so I said 'no' when he asked if I self harmed and just walked away and carried on with my job. Both awkward situations!
There's no great answer- just go with what makes you comfortable, whether that's denying it, making up a story, or simply admitting it and moving on.
Good luck! X
We're all architects of our own private hell
No-one can hurt us like we hurt ourselves...
this pic is so i can always remember jen who was my l'il sock monkey friend who has left ryl and i miss her!!! ![[Frostbitten]'s Avatar](image.php?s=c39e32748a15425b4cd0aa50a15feb82&u=28855&dateline=1286310211)
