Being around men.

[when.will.it.end]

I've recently moved house into lower level support housing and there are three other residents who are all guys. One has issues with personal hygiene and the other two drink and are both older. There is a female only bathroom which is meant to be for me but they all use it despite the staff asking them not to. I can't sit in the living room because it smells so much and makes me feel sick. The staff tell him to wash but he ignores them. I understand it's because of his mental health but it's difficult to be around. I wanted my sister, who has just turned 12, to be able to visit but being around people like this would scare her. I also swapped numbers with a guy from my last supported housing (as friends) and he's texting me constantly. I just don't have the time and energy to respond to him as much as he would like. He doesn't wait for replies between text messages and has texted me at 5am the other night.

All of this is making my PTSD worse and I'm struggling. My sleep is appalling, especially the last 3 nights, I've barely slept. When I do sleep I get nightmares. It's also making me feel more stressed about my body which in turn is putting pressure on my eating and I'm struggling with that too. I've tried to talk to staff about it, I think they understand but there isn't much they can do.

I'm not sure what I'm looking for really. Just some advice/hugs/support. Hope that's ok. Thanks.

[MissAnonymous]

Hey there, I saw this come up on LFV hence the ninja posting, I'm not stalking I promise :)

I know we have chatted about the bathroom situation and if they cannot get the guys to refrain from using the female bathroom it seems only fair that you ask them to fit a lock on the outside so that you can use it without the worry of males using it.

I know its a really difficult one, but could you perhaps buy one of those air freshner unit things that sprays out stuff every 15-20 mins and discretely put it somewhere very well hidden so that they are not noticing it, and they are not offended, but you don't have to live with the smell either. Its obviously something that they have great problems with a perhaps they don't even notice how bad it is.

It's time to start putting some boundaries in with this guy who is texting you, he may not realise the pressure you feel and possibly just thinks he is being very friendly. However its for your sake you need to tell him firmly that you do not wish to be texted during the night [for gods sake don't then reply to any night time texts, leave them till the morning], and when he does text, don't reply immediately, maybe leave it a day or two. If he carries on texting without response, or gets agitated at a lack of response, just say you don't feel up for chatting quite so much.

Would it help to break down the next 2 days and think about what food you have in and what you will have for a main meal? At least get a cooked meal planned and then work breakfast, snacks, sandwiches, etc around that??

xxx

[when.will.it.end]

Thanks lovely, I didn't think you were stalking!

I don't think the staff are willing to put a lock on the door in case the male bathroom is in use and they need the loo but I'll ask them about it next week.

There already is a spray thing in the living room but it doesn't cut it when the smelly guy is around (although I've just taken the chance to come in the living room because he's not around and hasn't left a smell behind him woohoo!). He is meant to be moving out in the new year so hopefully won't have to deal with it for much longer.

The guy was texting me a lot and turns out he is interested in my and wants to go on a date, which stressed me out but I clearly told him I'm not interested in him like that and left it at that. Hopefully he'll back off now and I'll have less men related issues from here on out!

Food is tough. I'm trying to keep a lid on it and not go overboard but I'm struggling. That would help yes, two days at a time seems manageable. I've eaten mostly ok today but the amounts are gettin smaller.

I think people are worried about me. I haven't reat noticed any chance in behaviour but I'm apparently isolating myself and withdrawing and struggling not to od (I have a huge amount of medication in my possession, just slowly built up over time) but I'm trying to get a grip before things slip further.

Thanks for your repliy anyway. Sorry this was long!!

[when.will.it.end]

Thanks for the reply.

I'll ask staff about it next week.

The guy texted me at 3am again last night. It's annoying. That's a good idea but I don't know how to do that on my phone! there seems to be only silent mode for everything or normal mode with messages turned on. If I put it on silent I'm sure my alarm doesn't work. Not sure!

I'm not sure staff would take my medication off me but again, I could ask tomorrow. There's ont staff on during the week but I'm sure I can keep safe tonight.

I'm still struggling a bit but made it up and out today so that's good. Anxiety and urges are bad but I cannt be ****ed with hospital in any form so sh is a no. I don't want an admission so I have to keep myself level. I've only got a week to get through and then I'll be at home and can crash a bit. I've still got things I have to get through next week (appointments, uni work, social stuff) but it's a bit of an easier week so I'm going to try and not cancel things like I have been doing.