I have been in my job for 4 weeks (I work in a supermarket) I had a week off due to food poisoning, and I've had to go sick today with diarrhoea. My mum has been shouting at me over it and I want to know if I did the right thing or not.
My company have a policy that if you vomit or have diarrhoea for any reason you're not allowed to work for 24 hours after it's cleared. I have irritable bowel syndrome which has got worse over the past few months- I did declare it on my OH form when I was hired. Basically my main issue is severe constipation which causes overflow diarrhoea, and sometimes diarrhoea when I have to take laxatives.
This morning I had bad diarrhoea due to that reason and I rang work to explain the situation and ask if I was allowed in. They said no because of the fact I have diarrhoea, and also that it would interrupt my duties having to rush to the toilet.
So I told my mum what they said and she completely exploded. Bear in mind I am 25 and I don't need her permission for anything, She said I should have talked to her first because she would have told me to go to work anyway and get on with it. She said I should have taken Imodium and that I shouldn't "give in" to my IBS.
Now the problem with that is 1) going to work with diarrhoea knowing their policy about it and 2) taking Imodium which my GP has told me not to do because it makes me constipated and worsens my already bad constipation meaning that in a few days time this situation will occur again. And 3) I don't see how I am giving in to my IBS when I physically do have diarrhoea? It's not like I was just worried about it happening and ringing in sick.
So I'm very upset. My mum's been shouting and telling me she can't deal with this stress, she can't keep pushing me along (um, she hasn't been?) and that they will sack me over this because it's my second sickness in 4 weeks and I'm still on probation.
I don't want to be sacked, I am starting to settle in and enjoy my job. But I know my IBS is a big issue, I have a hospital appointment in just over a week with a consultant to hopefully investigate it further. I might end up being referred to OH at work, but I'm worried that they'll say I am not suitable to work there if I have IBS, because of dealing with food.
I believe I did do the right thing because I followed the procedure set out in my employee handbook.
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
Hey, you did the right thing. They know you have IBS so they can't fire you for being off because of it.
I'm also sure that you won't be punished for being sick during probation, no one chooses when to be sick and you have given them a fair warning about it.
I know this might be easier said than done but can you ignore your mum? You've made the decision with the advice and help of work and it isn't her place to say if you've done the right thing or not.
I myself have an IBD and work in the food industry, my employer knows this and says as long as I take time off when I am ill that is fine. It's just if you keep going on while Ill that they can tell you off really. They can't fore you for having a medical condition.
I hope some of this makes sense, I may have waffled a bit (I'm at work myself at the moment)
This morning I had bad diarrhoea due to that reason and I rang work to explain the situation and ask if I was allowed in. They said no because of the fact I have diarrhoea, and also that it would interrupt my duties having to rush to the toilet.
You have your answer here, technically, as you did what you were told. But I sense the issue here really is that your Mum is making you feel guilty by telling you that you should have gone and somehow 'overcome' your IBS. And of course we want to please our parents and do as they say, so going against it doesn't feel right (even though in this case, it was right).
Did you tell your Mum about the policy at work and the phone call you had?
Personally for me, while I don't have IBS I do have a sometimes upset bowel and depending on the severity I would go in to work and ensure good hygiene is maintained. Obviously your IBS is different in that it may impair your day if it is frequent and painful.
You did the right thing, and you know that it was the right thing to do.
I'm thinking that your mum is stressed because she doesn't want something to go wrong with the job. Do you contribute to the household costs? As that may be another reason behind your mum wanting to protect your job.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Iamcatbug
They know you have IBS so they can't fire you for being off because of it.
I'm also sure that you won't be punished for being sick during probation, no one chooses when to be sick and you have given them a fair warning about it.
I'm not sure if IBS is classed under the 'disability' legislation, and if it isn't, well, Sainsbury's can basically do whatever they like within the first two years... If it was me I would keep the manager in the know as much as possible, and try to get an appointment with occupational health to see if there are any sort of adjustments that can be made.
Thanks for all of your replies! Mum and I did have a talk, and she apologised for getting angry. Like you said Claire she was fearful of this job going wrong because it's taken me so many years to get to this point. She did agree eventually that I made the right decision, and I'm going to be honest when I go back and explain everything (not that I've been dishonest until now) and ask what I should do if this happens in the future. It might be that instead of staying off sick I could put stock out that isn't food, like pet food or food that's well wrapped.
Aimee I know what you mean, I would have gone in had it been less severe. It's just this morning it was really bad, and I was in lots of pain.
People often tell me not to give in to my IBS and I often get confused, because it's not like with a bit of perseverance you can will away pain, constipation or diarrhoea. For example the female toilet at work doesn't fill up for about 20 minutes so it often doesn't flush. I told my CPN I was anxious about needing the loo and it not flushing and being embarrassed. She said to stop being silly and worrying. But then later she said to make contingency plans around my IBS and identify situations that might be an issue, which I had identified around the female toilet but got told to stop worrying! But it would be a real issue at work if I got diarrhoea. (I have now been told we can use the male toilet if needed). I know it's important not to let fear and anxiety around my IBS to stop me doing things, but other times when I have diarrhoea it makes certain activities harder or impossible but others still accuse me of giving in.
So I'm uncertain what's going to happen next. If they want something from my doctor to confirm the nature of my IBS then I can get something from my GP and hopefully the consultant I see. Hopefully we (or OH) can figure out a plan for when I get IBS-D that wont prevent me from working.
It's just so frustrating because my mental health is stable and I'm not taking days off due to being depressed or anxious, so I hate the fact I've had to go sick with physical things. It just looks bad and I'm trying SO HARD at work and I really want it to work out.
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
First of all, you did do the right thing, and it's good your mother and you have talked and she has calmed down. I can kind of understand how she means as my mother is always worried if I seem like I'm not doing well after two years of not having a job in fear that I lose it.
I think speaking to your manager about the nature of the IBS and possibly getting something from your doctor would be a good idea. Most places have the policy surrounding diarrhoea and sickness because of it being from a contagious stomach bug so it might be slightly different with IBS when they fully understand.
Try not to be so hard on yourself, things like this in a new job take a while to iron out - you'll get there. I'm also glad they've agreed you can use the male toilet if needed.
x x x
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
