Disturbing thoughts immediately on waking

[dbus-daemon]

When I wake up in the morning (or afternoon at the weekend!) my first thought is how to kill myself. For example, I wake up and think to myself that the only way to make things better would be to burn the house down while sitting inside it or something along those lines. Needless to say, it's not something that I'm going to do but it is alarming nonetheless.

It's a brief momentary thing that lasts less than a minute. It sometimes happens when I'm falling asleep too. It doesn't happen every day. I'd say it happens about 2-3 times a month if that.

I'm on 20mg of Prozac every day but it used to happen on various doses of Sertraline too.

Anyone have any ideas what could be causing it?

[MissAnonymous]

Its very hard to say what is causing such thoughts, being on anti-depressants, there are rare side effects that include a possible increase in thoughts of harming oneself or others, however in general people who are prescribed anti-depressants are prone to having thoughts of harming themselves.

As it is related to the falling asleep and waking up I'm inclined to think its a period where your thoughts wander, perhaps you're still in a dreamy state and thoughts that you wouldnt rationally or conciously consider start to come into your waking mind.

Do you have anyone you talk to about your mental health, could you bring this up with them and have a chat about how this makes you feel? Also if you are concerned that it is related to your medication still, contact the person who prescribed it.

[dbus-daemon]

Sorry, been away for a few days without internet access. I'm beginning to think that it probably is related to me being in a dream state when waking/falling asleep.

I used to suffer from sleep paralysis and the hallucinations were related to what I had been watching on TV, reading, or doing before going to sleep that night.

I haven't had any recurrence since not reading crime novels or watching Silent Witness, Taggart or Rebus before going to sleep so I think it might be related to that.

[dbus-daemon]

The mystery has been solved. A few months ago I started waking up feeling suffocated and in a state of near panic. I put it down to anxiety, but some amateur sleuthing has got to the bottom of it.

It's a buildup of exhaled carbon dioxide. My bed is rather low down and I have a cabinet next to it for keeping stuff on. The exhaled CO2 gas builds up and poisons me.

One of the symptoms of CO2 poisoning is feeling suffocated and hallucinating.

The problem mysteriously went away when I got new pillows which kept my head above the cabinet level, allowing the exhaled CO2 to escape.

The pillows gradually get softer and my head gets lower, until I'm level with the cabinet. The CO2 cannot escape and is instead breathed back in causing poisoning.