Body image

FutureEchoes · 21-11-2014, 02:55 AM

Hey...

So, I kinda hate my body.

I see other people with the same physical features I have, and often think they're pretty.

All I see in the mirror is flaws.

I see every pimple or birthmark or freckle or scar.

I see the stretch marks.

I see the uneven skin tone.

I see the body hair......ALL OF IT.

I see my weight.

I look at my face and see crooked yellow teeth, cracked lips, bushy eyebrows, facial hair, dark bags under my eyes.

All the skin issues I have below the neck are on my face too.

I see a nose that looks like a potato.

I see my puffy cheeks.

I see my manly jaw-line.

I look at my hair and see a frizzy, tangled, odd-colored ugly mess.

I just hate my body.

My husband thinks I'm beautiful, but I think he's WRONG.

I am tired of looking in the mirror and being disgusted.....

JaniceLifeElevate · 21-11-2014, 03:46 PM

Hey, I'm sorry to hear that you're having such a hard time accepting your body. And though I have no idea what you like, I'm sure that you are a very beautiful person. I know that doesn't really help, as you don't even believe your husband. But you are. I've been where you are and still struggle with it sometimes. I had days when I didn't want to leave the house because I felt so ashamed of how I looked.

But I learned to appreciate my body and face exactly as they are. I still have acne at my age and many scars from it. But that's part of my face and if I can hold it in gentle acceptance, I can see the beauty that lies there. Look at the mirror and try to look at yourself in a different way.

We are much harsher on ourselves than others, or than what is real. Dove had a nice campaign on this. I'm not posting this for advertisement purposes but because it shows in a really beautiful way how women are way too critical of themselves: [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=litXW91UauE"]Dove Real Beauty Sketches - YouTube[/ame]
Moves me to tears every time I watch it. May it be helpful to you too.

Much love

Emmelberry · 26-11-2014, 07:56 AM

well it seems you're aware it's irrational in how you've noticed you can like the same features in others. that's a great step in overcoming it!
you know there's so many people who have similar issues on this site, you could give the search function a whirl if you want to see what other people replied in what they found useful in dealing with it.

a site that's helped me is http://www.mybodygallery.com/ POTENTIALLY TRIGGERING PLEASE DON'T RISK IT IF YOU THINK IT COULD BE. you can search for photos of people of different weights, clothing sizes, body shapes and heights. it's so surreal seeing what i probably look close to and how i can appreciate them. also when i look at photos of when i was a very unhealthy weight and i don't see women who look fat or wrong, i see women who look unwell and i just want to hug them.

what helps me is that my body is an interface. it's a wonderful thing that let's me interact with the world around me. and why can't that be enough?

i'm not really sold on the current body positivity movement. a huge amount of it is focused on how "ooh you can attractive despite x feature, ooh your body is great because you can do x thing" so people with severe deformities, people who aren't able bodied don't get body posivity?? like screw attractive. screw healthy.

the only situation where physical attractiveness is relevant is in finding a sexual partner. and even then that's frequently based on romantic attraction. your husband finds you attractive so that bit is out of the way. you are under no obligation to be attractive. you can love doing your makeup and hair and dressing however and not for other people to think you're attractive. accepting that is really the only true path to loving your body. everything else can change.

you deserve all of this.