Please help me im lost :/ im a 16 year old girl, who needs advise.
i recently moved to the uk for family reasons, which means i left all my friends behind and miss them like crazy. I'm not a very friendly person, some would even call me a bitch, and I dont deny it. im an extremely private person and i dont trust anyone with anything. there is no reason for my sceptical ways of mind but thats just the way i am. im currently in college , loving my course and new friends (which aren't as close as my last) but just felt like something was missing.it just so happened that i met a cute guy (or so i thought) and decided maybe what i was missing was a boyfriend (My first boyfriend as lame as it sounds). that was a mistake seem as how he made me think that he really liked me and them dumped me after a week. being the motional robot that i am, i didn't think i would care so much because i didnt like him all that much, but the fact i wad dumped really pissed me off, it made me feel like something was really wrong with me. im constantly told by my family that im simply not nice- meaning i dont compliment people, i dont smile, im always angry and bitchy. i know where these characteristics lead- they lead to a bitter woman that never really had joy in her life and was to busy with her career to get close to someone.
long story short, im worried. worried that i wont find my feet in my new home, or that I wont find someone. i feel really lonley and just need a drastic change because its obviously my fault im lonely. id really appreciate any advise , thank you :)
You say you're at college. Most colleges have a free counselling service for students. How would you feel about making an appointment and getting some support that way?
It's hard when you feel lonely, but don't know how to change things. Keep talking. :)
“Our defeats are softened and our victories are sweetened because we did it together.” - Toby Ziegler.
Do you know why you don't believe in sharing your feelings? Is it just your feelings that you struggle with, or do you struggle with other people's feelings too? Counselling could be a way of exploring this.
“Our defeats are softened and our victories are sweetened because we did it together.” - Toby Ziegler.
Im really independent i guess, i think i can do everything by myself. i dont see how counselling could help because i think its just a stage of being a teenager?... maybe im wrong
Being a teenager is hard for a lot of people. It's a difficult age, with hormones and study and trying to figure out who you are. It's tough, and I wouldn't do it again! Just because lots of people don't find it easy, doesn't mean that your feelings aren't valid though, and it's important to seek support with them if they're causing you to be worried or distressed in any way. The reason colleges have counselling services is because they know that young people struggle with a lot of stuff. The whole thing is geared up for people your age. :)
“Our defeats are softened and our victories are sweetened because we did it together.” - Toby Ziegler.
I think it's very hard to accept help, especially if you've avoided talking about your feelings for a long time. Things won't change if you don't try and change them though, and it sounds like you're finding it hard to deal with things as they are at the moment. You deserve to be happy and sort this out whilst you're young, to prevent becoming bitter when you're older.
No, pretending not to care often doesn't get people very far. It can be very isolating. Do you know why you do that?
“Our defeats are softened and our victories are sweetened because we did it together.” - Toby Ziegler.
I think there are quite a few people who have that view on being emotional. I wouldn't agree though. Being emotional is human and 100% OK. It's good to feel a whole range of emotions - happiness, sadness, joy, fear, love... It's healthy and means that you can life an emotionally fulfilling life, which is so important in order to be content. *hug*
“Our defeats are softened and our victories are sweetened because we did it together.” - Toby Ziegler.
I understand exactly where you are coming from with not wanting to show your emotions and seeing it as a sign of weakness. It is something that I myself have always struggled with. I also completely understand your not wanting to seek help at college.
I was just wondering, given that you have kind of opened up a bit on here about it, if you just don't like discussing these sorts of issues to people face to face? If so, what are your thoughts on things like emailing Samaritans?
BTW, by suggesting the Samaritans I'm not saying don't post here, just that it is something that I myself found useful in the past because it meant I didn't have to discuss the issues face to face with a person which made it less stressful.
In terms of feeling lonely, were there any clubs or activities that you enjoyed doing before you moved? Because would it be worth looking into any groups etc that you could join in the UK to help you stop feeling so lonely.
Im hoping to lonley part is just temporary because of just being dumped for the first time by a guy that i didnt know had an asshole reputation. there are things i like to do and places like to go, but the issue is my college is an hour and half away so all my friends live different and far locations so its hard to plan things.
