Yesterday I found out I'm pregnant. I'm actually really scared. So much is going on in my mind of things I'll have to do and buy and I feel so overwhelmed. I struggle with an ED and now I have to get better or I'll kill this baby.. I don't know what to do.. I want to keep it.. I don't like abortion and I can't imagine having a child out there that I don't know. I'm also really scared for labor and such.. Any advice? I just need peace at mind and to know everything will be okay. :(
Hi, I think it is natural to be a bit scared right now, try to take a few days to let the news sink in. Do you have anyone to talk to about this? Is the father around?
Hey,
Can you try and use the support you have around you?
If it helps at all I know a few people who got pregnant at your age and it was hard for them at first but once they got useto it they really enjoyed having a baby and someone they could love unconditionally.
I know you are so scared right now but please try to stay as calm as you can. People here have will support you all the way through the pregnancy. I know a lot of people here have had children so they will be able to advice you.
Sending love x
The average,
well-adjusted adult
gets up at 7.30am feeling just plain terrible.
Call me Kate.
I have dyslexia so please excuse my poor spelling and sometimes poor understanding.
I don't really have anyone close to to talk about it and the badies dad is pretty mad so I'm not sure if he's going to be around much yet or not.
Thank you guys for the support. Xoxo
I know that this may sound quite harsh, but if you arent able to care for a child, its not fair to bring one into the world. Especially if you arent well yourself and do not have any support around you. You need to look after yourself, abortion or adoption may not be your first(or last) picks but you need to realise that you are very young, this isnt your only chance to have a baby. Dont bring a life into the world that you cannot give everything of yourself to, you deserve to be able to experience having children in a healthy capacity, not like this.
It must be a very overwhelming time right now and it's understandable that you are feeling very frightened and experiencing lots of different thoughts, feelings and questions.
You mentioned that you don't have anybody close that you can talk to which must make things even harder; have you considered speaking to your GP or another service where you can access somebody who will listen, without judging and can chat to you about things.
It would be helpful to make a GP appointment anyway, just to get things checked out and to let them know you are pregnant. They may want to run some tests and also help you to set up appointments with a midwife for later down the line.
There are also a lot of great forums online which are dedicated to parenting, including trying to conceive and pregnancy itself. It might be worth googling for one. I know the forum I belong to has a forum specifically for teenagers who are pregnant or who are Mum's, which I imagine will offer a lot of support as they are in the same situation as you (or similar at least!).
I'm sorry to hear that the babies Dad is pretty mad at the moment. I imagine it is quite a shock for him and whilst it doesn't excuse him from getting mad at you, I guess try not to make any decisions based on his initial reaction as things may change as he gets used to it?
Hopefully at that point you will be able to talk to him about what you both want and what options are open to you. I know you said abortion is something you don't feel comfortable with and that is totally okay; nobody is going to force you in to that but it is important you get the support you need if you decide to keep the baby so you can be healthy and look after your little one.
Things will be okay in the end, it might not feel like it right now but it will be okay.
Hey Olivia, I can imagine it must be very hard to open up to your dad and step mom about this. But as you said they would support you, I think it's important to tell them because you need a good support system now. This situation is very challenging to face alone. Like the others I would also suggest that you reach out to your GP or other available services.
Also understand that you don't have to rush to make a decision now. Give yourself time to let it sink in and then see what feels best for you.
Much love
"The highest for of intelligence is to observe yourself without judgement" ~ Marianne Williamson
I can appreciate it must be very scary opening up to your Dad and Step Mom. It is frightening but you deserve the support lovely.
Do you think writing them a letter to them might be helpful? That way they have a chance to read it and perhaps come to terms with what you have told them whilst you aren't there and hopefully they will come and have a chat with you and offer you the support you need and deserve.
You may be surprised how supportive people can be.
It's understandable that you'd be so scared, you're so young and with an ED that complicates it, if you really want to keep it the only thing you can do is try your very hardest to be as healthy as you can be for the child, no need to bring a child into this world if you can't get healthy yourself so I do agree with Liar in a way but at the same time I couldn't have an abortion or an adoption if I had gotten someone pregnant so I get where you're at but you really need to think hard about what's best for the baby above all else, will it be raised in a peaceful healthy enviroment? Will you be able to get healthier so that you can raise the baby and can you possibly try to better yourself with your ED so the baby can be healthy? These are all very important and at the end of the day it's your decision above anyone elses. I'm glad you have family to support you that's definitely a good thing, especially at a time like this. Just be careful with what you choose to do and think about the child above everything and anyone else
♪"'Cause I'm about to break down,
I'm searchin' for a way out,
I'm a liar, I'm a cheater, I'm a non-believer
I'm a popular, popular monster"♪
I agree with what Tig has said and urge you to re-read her/his/zir messages. I cannot imagine how scared you must be right now, but things will be ok. Talk to whoever you can, in whatever format you can. We're here for you, keep us updated xx
I know that this may sound quite harsh, but if you arent able to care for a child, its not fair to bring one into the world. Especially if you arent well yourself and do not have any support around you. You need to look after yourself, abortion or adoption may not be your first(or last) picks but you need to realise that you are very young, this isnt your only chance to have a baby. Dont bring a life into the world that you cannot give everything of yourself to, you deserve to be able to experience having children in a healthy capacity, not like this.
//rant over, hope it kinda helps...
This sounds extremely harsh.
As if it's that easy.
just because she is ill and has little support that doesn't mean she won't be a excellent mum.
rant/
The average,
well-adjusted adult
gets up at 7.30am feeling just plain terrible.
Call me Kate.
I have dyslexia so please excuse my poor spelling and sometimes poor understanding.
It's great that you have been able to tell your Dad and step-mum and that they are going to be supportive.
My Mum had me when she was 16 and she wasn't well herself, having had a difficult childhood. Yes she was very young and yes she wasn't perfectly healthy, but she is a FANTASTIC Mum. I'm so glad she didn't abort me or put me up for adoption; she loved me with all of her heart and tried her hardest. With support, I really think you can do this.
Keep talking here as well as in real life. You're doing good. *hug*
“Our defeats are softened and our victories are sweetened because we did it together.” - Toby Ziegler.
I was just reading ur thread before Olivia and from what u mentioned about feeling scared and worried about telling ur parents is completely normal! You shouldnt have to face this alone.
Im really pleased to hear u have plucked up the courage to tell them both and for them to be à bit shocked, ok is normal for both parents to feel like that. Though atleast u have told them and now they can try and find a way of helping u.
Im sorry to hear that ur bf hasnt been that support regarding the situation ur both facing together though he needs to understand if he does or does not want to be with u anymore is that hes the farther and needs to stand up and take up responsibitly of becoming the responsibitly of becoming a farther. This all matters on the child and whats best for the child. I just hope he can support u both by contributing to buy things what the child needs, spending time with the child, supporting u both with the finances to in order to manage on ur own and able to keep the child safe when hes allowed acess to the child two. All of these are very important to take into consideration.
You proberly have been thinking about the future now and knowing u have a big responsibitly on ur arms. Though theres nothing to be afraid of as u will get the support both from ur mum and dad now as they know ur gonna have a baby.
I do think when ur ready is to go the GP and get them to refer u to the hospital by making u an appointment to see them by checking if the baby is ok etc. I do think u should do this sooner rather then later. How do feel about going to see the doctor? Your mum can go with u for extra support.
Please dont worry anymore as u have everyone around u to support u now. There is tremendus support for u. Dont forget that because its true :)
