Need help with work/friend situation

nanashi4347 · 07-11-2014, 10:37 PM

Hi, I really need some advice on a big work and friend situation that I've just found myself in. I had previously spent 12 years working for a company and was lucky enough to have worked most of it with someone who became my best friend. During my time there he and his wife also helped me through some bad times I had coping with my depression.

However a few months ago the store closed so we ended up having to find different work places, I ended up in a job but found it difficult to adjust which started to put me back in a bad place depression wise. However a couple of months in one of my other friends offered me a job at his family run business which I took.

I have been there now about a month and have been enjoying it, however my other friend who I used to work with has now mentioned of a position available where he works, which would be mine if I want it. Though I would potentially only be working with him for a year as he and his wife are looking to go self employed in the future.

Now although I enjoy working with my other friend where I am now, I would prefer to work with my best friend how it used to be. as talking every day I feel more in the loop and it might be best for my depression. However I wouldn't want to stay at that place of work after he has left as its not a job I would do otherwise. Also I feel it would be bad letting my other friend down after he made a position available to help me out, and it may cause problems there not just between me and him, but also may make him look bad to his family for bringing me in , plus leaving a job so soon and during their busiest period would not be good.

However on the other side if I stay where I and turn down my other friend I would feel like letting him down, as he is pushing for me to join him as he would prefer to work alongside me again to. After all the help with that he has helpehelping feel that maybe this would be a way to return the favor. But it would mean in around a year I'd be in a job I don't like, and would not have the option of going back to where I am now, which is a job I enjoy.

I really need help with this as I keep going back and fourth, I have a feeling that whatever I do I'm going to end up upsetting someone or leaving a trail of problems. I also have a feeling the two may see whatever desescion I make to be me choosing one friend over the other.

I'd be grateful for any help or input anyone has here.

Amaranth · 08-11-2014, 12:01 PM

It's a difficult situation. Personally I'd stay in the job you're in now. You have to think about the future, and although you might have one good year working with your best friend a year down the line you could be trapped in a job you hate all alone, and that will probably be a really bad thing for you with regards to your depression. Where you are now you get to work with another friend and it's a job you enjoy which I think will be much better for your mental health in the long run.

nanashi4347 · 12-11-2014, 10:13 PM

Thanks for your reply and advice, I also consulted another friend who gave a similar view. I have now indicated to my friend that I won't be leaving where I am to join him, though I haven't had the opportunity to discuss it properly as he seems to be quite hacked off and has been avoiding me since then, now I just need to find a way to fix the situation and get things back to normal and not loose my best friend in the process. Hoping after a few days things will calm down a bit so I can try and explain everything. Fingers crossed.

Amaranth · 12-11-2014, 11:35 PM

I'm sure your friend will come round - you can't be blamed for doing what's best for you in the long run and I'm sure he'll see that.

JusC · 12-11-2014, 11:37 PM

You wouldnt be lettinh anyone down. I know both of ur friends would understand if u were happy at the other place and not thinking about moving forward to another place of work. I csn understand completely why u feel the way u do but plesdr dont feel bad.

I think ur going the right say about it by not saying anything just yet and carrying on as normal where u are. Its really good to know that both friends want u to work with them but do u have to look at it by picking on sides? You dont have to cuz they are both good friends and not who u prefer then the other.

I do think u should have time to think about what u would like to do. You need to decide whats best and they should respect that. Im pleased things are looking up considering this work problem u have but u cant made everyone happy remember!

What would u like to do? Whats the best thing u can do right now what will be less tense? Could u maybe put ur thoughts on paper and reverse what u want to say to both of ur friends or could u just think whether or not the job ur in right now is what u wanna do for now? Ask urself these questions and hopefully come up with a decision and If ur happy where u are then stay where u are but just be honest to ur friend and his wife. They dont seem the like the type of people from what ur telling me that they will be angry and upset and wont talk to u ever again. Im sure they will both understand why u feel the way u do.

Hope that helps and Good Luck x