Accepting my unattractiveness

[BrandNew]

I've never been confident in the way I looked, ever. I've been called ugly before during high school which did shatter my confidence. Fortunately I was never bullied and these comments where very few throughout only a couple of years, as I grew older they stopped (at least to my face) I have overheard a few remarks when people thought I wasn't around.

Anyway since then (im 20 now and left school over 2 years ago) I've tried to gain more confidence and can actually look in the mirror and think I don't look half bad. Photos are my enemy tho.

A few weeks ago I went on a lovely holiday with my boyfriend. We went to a park where you could swim with different animals (fish etc) it was great but one thing about it was that they took professional photos of you. My hair was down at first (the hairstyle I always have as it hides my worst features) but decided to put it back as it was getting annoying. Because my hair was already wet before I put it back my hairstyle was less than...well styled! It resulted in it being completely scraped back with no volume to it and the way it sat it looked like I had bald spots.

We got our pictures taken and went to see them. I look horrible. You can seen chubby face and the picture was taken from the side so you can barely see my eyes and the slight gaps in my teeth from my braces. The other is me by myself. I believe I have a good side and I bad side. My bad side is showing skightly more which makes Mr whole face look lopsided. My smile shows my ever so slightly overbite which normally isn't even noticeable but because in laughing it looks like I have buck teeth (which before my braves I did used to have). My eyes are squinting because of the sun. I just look Generally very ugly in both. My boyfriend wanted to buy then to take home so now I havr photos up in my sitting room that make me feel like crying every time I see them. Which then doesn't help when I go on facebook and see my boyfriend's ex (model) girlfriend on her holiday looking gorgeous!

My boyfriend is sick of me putting myself down all the time and frankly so am I. Which bares the question how can I jusy accept that im ugly and not let it bother me??

[Steel Maiden]

I am not that pretty and I have loads of large spots and often wear baggy clothes due to sensory issues (most fashionable clothes give me sensory overload when I wear them). But I don't look at the outside appearance of myself. I know I am a nice person and that is what matters. Try to focus on your good personality attributes rather than what you say is ugliness.

[Salazar]

Confidence about one's perceived attractiveness or unattractiveness is difficult.

Your boyfriend most likely finds you attractive, I'm sure he's with you because he likes your personality and probably because he finds you attractive too.

I don't think it's about accepting that you are ugly or attractive, it's about accepting that you are who you are physically and you cannot do much to change that. Attractiveness is a very arbitrary concept and not something that can be measured, it varies with different people.

Is it possible that you are being harsh on yourself because you don't like certain things about yourself/you are being irrational?

Ultimately the only thing you can do is try to improve your confidence so as not to worry so much about your body and what you look like. I think the way to do that is to talk to people, to go out and find people who don't make comments on your physical appearance (unless positive or constructive) and to try and accept yourself for who you are. As Steel Maiden says, try to focus more on your personality than your appearance. The less you think about the appearance, the more confident you will be about it. But to do that I think you need more confidence generally. Comparing yourself to others is only going to make it more difficult for you, and your boyfriend is with you and not his ex.

Confidence is a difficult thing to find and keep though, I appreciate that.

Also, photographs are a still shot at one moment in time, that can be misleading as to what you really look like. Especially as you mention your hair was wet etc.

Not sure really on how to become more confident, but it's definitely a confidence thing rather than accepting that you are "ugly". It's about changing your perception of your body, again, a difficult thing.

*hugs* though.