How to move on after years of disordered eating?

[ruthwex]

Hi,

I'm new to the forum but hopefully I've come to the right place for help and advice :)

I've been in a web of eating disorders for half of my life now; 14 years to be exact. It began with Bulimia, progressed to chronic laxative abuse followed by 7 years of chewing and spitting food. I am now 3 months into recovery (done on my own, with emotional support from my boyfriend). I feel different to any other time I tried to recover. I am very optimistic that I will not relapse and am feeling strong against these behaviours.

Psychologically though, not much has changed. I am still obsessive about what I eat and constantly worry about my body image. I own a bakery and while chewing and spitting, I was able to just eat whatever I wanted and spit it out without gaining weight most of the time (this had other serious detrimental effects to my health though). Now though, I still crave all of the foods that I once would have spit out. I am very well read on nutrition and healthy eating but am finding it increasingly difficult to actually follow a healthy lifestyle and not constantly obsess over eating, be it healthy food or rubbish.

Any tips on how to break this cycle? Would talking to a professional help does any one think? I've beaten addictions to cigarettes, drugs, laxatives and an eating disorder and yet my will power can't seam to beat something as simple as snacking. I jut want to be "normal", enjoy food and meal times without constantly snacking or thinking about snacking.

Any advice would be welcomed
Thanks xxx

[mousetrousers]

Definitely talk to a professional, dr, nutritionist or counsellor

[Wonderland.]

I'm wondering if it would help to have another focus in your life (a healthy one) that you can lose yourself in. Where you can escape from the constant thoughts about food/weight.

[tiptoes]

Would it maybe help to plan treats, one of the things that helped me eat healthier and make better decisions was to throw out the idea of good and bad foods. Pay day or Friday/ Saturday are good days for allowing freer reign then it feels more like a treat than a guilty snack. I also try to share the foods with my partner, I find it feels more like a treat if I think about it as treating him to something yummy and sharing it with him. I also start to associate those foods with good associations rather than with eating disordered thoughts.

I also worked on when I would be the most vulnerable for snacking that would make me feel guilty - for me it is afternoons when I'm sat at my desk. So I fill my desk with fruit and cereal bars and healthy snacks so that I see them before thinking about what is in the vending machine etc.