Rivers crisis house

[havealittlefaith]

Hey guys ,

Don't know if anyone has been here I came here last night ..... Kind of got conflicting feelings about it all to be honest ...... I mean it's small but it has that clinal feel to it ... On the plus the longest you can stay is 2 weeks ..... I had to try not to say oh good when they old me there self ahrm policy but it sucks Cuz I'm not allowed out for 24 hours so that is untill tonight I brought 2 pairs of clothes in my bag which of course I want to go and change at home I would t even call the shower a shower seriously ..... It's like a shoe box ..... I'm not even sure ..... I guess this is suppose to stop all the 136 from happening .... It's quiet here but there all male patients and old which can get me a little frightened when they come up behind me but staff have been nice to me so far I just feel awful Cuz I feel like I've let everyone down and Ive deserted mich when she needs me and I'm scared I've made her worser ......

Sorry I needed to get this all out ...

[jessmarie123]

Hang in there, it'll be alright. Just keep fighting for yourself. Don't worry about letting others down. Everyone makes mistakes and needs help sometimes.

[noodlzzz]

I've been offered to go there. What's it like?

[Wonderland.]

Rules are put in place for you and everyone elses safety. Not going out for a day isn't the end of the world, you can pick up some more clothes in when you are allowed out. Or you could get someone to bring you some in.

[havealittlefaith]

I screwed it up I didn't return last night and so yeah it's so clinical like it feels like a hospital ward but maybe that's cuz it's on the Hospitsl grounds you have to go over to the day centre for lunch on a week day they don't do set key workers everyone works toghether suppose to has 1:1 2/3 times a day , have to be on you room by 11/12pm the rooms are tiny and not even proper I was so cold, I self harm whilst there ../

[JusC]

Hi run with sissors. No u havent let anyone down. I havent spoken to u in a while but if u want to then u can PM me.

Its good to know that ur safe right now and where u are ur getting treatment for it but why are u in a home? Are u not at college right now or at work? Im not sûre whats happening right now ?

Hope ur ok

Im here if u wanna talk.

[havealittlefaith]

I got kicked out of rivers I didn't go back and they sang police but the police has left me alone zoe gonna b mad tommorow

[Wonderland.]

How are you feeling?

Have you got somewhere safe to stay tonight?

[havealittlefaith]

Feeling a bit like it wasn't really helping anyway nothing is helping me so yeah ..... I'm not even sure anymore .... Perhaps I'll die... Seeing zoe at midday ..... Wonder if she will be annoys wirh me ..

[sherlock holmes]

I'm kind of wondering about what you mean when you say "perhaps I'll die"? You said it quite flippantly in the way someone might say "perhaps I'll eat pizza for lunch", almost as if you don't really know what to do next.

I don't think you really, truly want to die. Your behaviours come across as someone who is quite desperate and insecure, but also at times a bit childish. You've been given lots of support and recently all you post on RYL about is how you've repeatedly ran away and had the police called on you. I think you need to sit down and think about if you want to be helped or not, and how you can engage with that help.

If it feels too intrusive to be in hospital then what can help you in the community that you will engage with?

[havealittlefaith]

Well I think you hit the nail on the head!

Well still see zoe every week and I can always use crisis
Team I rang them last night ...

[Wonderland.]

Do you find Zoe's support helpful?

What is it that you feel you need to work on to stay safe?

We are here if you need to talk.

[havealittlefaith]

Sometimes zoe helps sometimes she doesn't Cuz she can't make it all stop and she won't eben let me has sleeping meds so I has to cope with ****ed sleep atm ...

I wish I knew what needed to change to feel safe :( x

[Wonderland.]

Perhaps she thinks there is too high a risk of you overdosing to give you sleep meds.

Have you ever tried an OTC sleep medications? They may be worth looking into depending on interactions with any other medications you are on.

What is triggering you to feel unsafe?

[havealittlefaith]

I'm not allowed no meds full stop not even anti D's oh man sometimes
I wish someone could go over her head


Idk tbh im not im technically unsafe just make stupid decisions Cuz I don't value anything or think things can be good Cuz things went crappy and I try and it's not good enough but Blah when I drink n sh it helps ... People think I'll accidenlty die :.

This is a very borderline stylie
No one can save U u have to do that they can only help U if u ask for it i the right away

[havealittlefaith]

Well I am bpd so but still you don't have to be so offensive :(

[Pi.R^2]

In terms of the meds, have you had your review with Dr P yet? He's planning to see everyone at some point soon to meet them. Perhaps you could mention to him your thoughts on wanting to try meds?

Hope you're staying safe. I would recommend looking into Drayton Park crisis house, if you are in their catchment. It's all female and feels like a house rather than a hospital!

It wasn't meant to be offensive I'm also borderline

[Iamcatbug]

Quote:

Originally Posted by youonlyliveonce

This is a very borderline stylie
No one can save U u have to do that they can only help U if u ask for it i the right away

Quote:

Originally Posted by x_run_with_scissors_x

Well I am bpd so but still you don't have to be so offensive :(

Run with scissors- I don't think youonlyliveonce was being intentionally offensive. I think what she was trying to say was that you need to want to help yourself to get better, she wasn't saying it in a nasty way, just that recovery takes work and you need to commit to it. Which is difficult, especially when you don't know what will help you in your recovery.

Anyway, I hope the support is helping you as it can be difficult to know what will or won't help.