|
I don't think I'm going back to my therapist or psychiatrist.*tw*
I went to see my psychiatrist about 2 months ago. She was supposed to refill my meds, but as per usual she forgot to send the perception, so I never got them. So I decided to get a new one. But of course it's months before I can see one. Then my parents decided to yell at me becasue I don't care about anything and it must be the meds. So I just decided to say '**** it'. I stopped taking them. I was miserable on them I'm miserable off them. Then I hurt my back and ended up having to cancel my therapy appointments becasue I could hardly walk. And even though I'm back to work and feeling better(although now I have chronic pain to add to all my other bullshit) I haven't bothered going back. When I was talking to the doctor about pain management he told me something that's really making me think that maybe I should just give up, he said "back problems don't get better, really, they just get worse as you get older." and nothing has ever rang more true about anything ever. Nothing has gotten better over the years. It just gets worse and worse everyday. And I'm so tired of fighting for nothing. The truth is I'm never going to get better. Sure I might beat this eating disorder, but I'll still be miserable. I was miserable before the eating disorder, I'll be miserable after. There's just no end to this.
|
