Work

Cacoethes · 26-09-2014, 02:52 PM

I'm starting work on Tuesday. I'm only going in to sort paperwork and uniform and training and stuff but im panicking a bit.
My mental health hasn't been great and I'm in a ' depressive episode ' which is making me worry about everything.
I haven't worked since a Christmas job when I was 16, 7 years ago.
The manager knows about my mental health (she used to be a psych nurse) and has seen my scars and everything but im worried about how the other staff or the residents will react because I have to wear short sleeves.
I'm worried that I won't have enough money to pay the rent and bills etc.
I'm worried that im going to fail.

This is completely unknown to me. I don't know what to expect or how I'm going to cope. I'm just really anxious and I don't want to mess it up.
Any advice/reassurance or something would be great!

sherlock holmes · 26-09-2014, 05:01 PM

What does your CPN/CMHT say about it?

Also how many hours are you working? I know disabled people (ie those on DLA I think) can receive working tax credit at 16 hours instead of 30 (I think!!) so that might help with money issues.

You might do better to ease into the work rather than jump in full time. My mum is a care assistant at a nursing home and she found it quite a shock when she first started as she hadn't worked for 20 odd years.

If I'm brutally honest I'm not sure if it's the right time for this job, especially as I know how stressful and demanding working in a care home is and the fact the the elderly people can often be violent and rude (due to things like dementia).

I'm aware that this post wasn't very reassuring. I wonder if maybe your boss (the ex psych nurse?) could meet with your CPN and a plan can be worked out as to how you can manage this job without getting unwell.

Cacoethes · 26-09-2014, 05:30 PM

I appreciate the honesty Sarah :)

I don't think it's the best time for a job either. But I got the job a couple of months ago when things were okish and it's just taken this long for all the checks to be done.

I'll only be working 22 hours a week, I was going to do full time but the manager said it would be better for me to start with part time. I'm pretty used to people being violent and rude. I did spend years in psych wards after all! (And I haven't reacted to those people with violence for years) so nothing anyone can say or do is going to phase me.

I told my cpn about it today and said it was a bad time.
She agreed it may not be the best time but maybe it will help lift my mood.

I've met the manager who is very understanding and she really wants me to do well and I met a nurse I will be working with who is lovely so I'm hoping that they will be Ok with me if I start to struggle.
But then I don't like admitting defeat which could be a problem.

sherlock holmes · 26-09-2014, 05:36 PM

Do you have an action plan of what you'll do if you do start to struggle? I'd probably say that it's best if you tell your manager at the first sign things are getting bad again so she can help you. You don't want to ignore it, keep working then get really ill!

Cacoethes · 26-09-2014, 06:02 PM

Not really. I'd probably still be seeing my cpn weekly and even if I don't say anything she can generally tell when i'm not myself.
Maybe I could bring it up with her next week?

I'll be on a 3 month probationary period which is a bit scary.

Snow White. · 26-09-2014, 07:23 PM

I like to think of the probationary periods they give beginning work as a bit of a safety net, although it means they are not fully committed to you in the first three months, my understanding is neither are you committed to them, so if it does happen to make things worse for you then leaving isn't as difficult in this point (although this is based on casual work in Australia so it may be different).

I wish you all the best with it Beckie. Maybe consider your warning signs for if things are getting bad at work so you can act on it early, and discussing that action plan with your cpn is a good idea. Maybe have a bit of a pact where if either of you notice things are getting worse you increase support.

As for being worried you're going to fail, I think the fact you're trying now especially in a depressive episode is a big step. I don't think you can fail, you might find it's not for you but you've tried and that's huge, that's already a success.

Planning a nice reward after your first few days may be useful x

Cacoethes · 26-09-2014, 08:54 PM

That's a good point. I think the probationary period is pretty much that. There's something written about it in the contract I think. Should probably read it properly...

Hopefully I'll be more sensible about my warning signs than I normally am because it's work and looking after people.

Thinking more about warning signs. How can I deal with something that my mh team don't see as a problem?
Like I have episodes where I'm more 'elevated' than normal but cmht don't recognise it as a problem (even though everyone else around me does) and probably just think i'm acting up or something. I don't know, they don't really talk about it.
I'm not sure how I'd handle that.

Thanks Aimee :)
X

Ktulu · 26-09-2014, 10:35 PM

Hi Beckie. I know this feels like a bad time to start, but when would be a good time? There's no time like the present etc. I think it's actually a good time as the extra focus and responsibility may actually help lift you out of your low mood.

I work in a nursing home with residents with and without dementia and you do need a thick skin. I've had so many comments about my weight, when is the baby due, I need to do more exercise etc. It upset me a little at first but you get used to it and come to realise that if the person was in the whole of their health, they would never say such things and it can be more upsetting for their loved ones to hear them say these things than it is for us.

If you will have scars visible, I would strongly recommend that you have an answer ready if someone comments, be they resident or staff. The other thing is, patients with dementia can lose their inhibitions and in my experience this has resulted in a lot of groping, sometimes very intimate, as well as sexual talk and of course hitting, kicking, biting etc. If you are prepared and know how you will handle these situations you will be just fine.

Working in a nursing home can be tough, physically and emotionally, but what you gain far outweighs these things. It's a very rare day that I don't come home feeling good about myself because a resident has thanked me for something, or complimented my smile, specifically asked for me to help them or because I was the only staff member that could convince a resident that a shower/taking their meds/eating lunch would be a good idea etc. Not everyone is cut out for this kind of work, but you clearly have the desire to do it which is a great start. And you will know very quickly if it's for you.

You have so much to gain by trying this. You can put it off and put if off saying now is not the right time, but the opportunity may not be there when the exact right time comes around. It sounds like you have support from your manager and she thinks you can do this. Believe in yourself. If it doesn't work out this time, there's no shame in that. Dust yourself off and try again.

sherlock holmes · 27-09-2014, 10:02 AM

The induction day is Tuesday isn't it? After that when do you start? x

ennae · 27-09-2014, 10:03 AM

I just wanted to say good luck! I hope everything goes really well for you.

Ballerina123 · 27-09-2014, 01:59 PM

could you ring/email your new boss and say you have not been well reasently and could you do a graded start (eg start off with one day a week, then 2 day, ect). this way there is less pressure till you feel a bit better.

as for the scar issue: I have found working i health that the people who tend to mention scars the most are children and the elderly.
its good to think up a good reply like 'this is a result of when I was ill but thankfully im a lot better now'
lying or saying things like 'its none of your buisness' or 'we are not here to talk about that can be seen as dismissive so honesty is usually the best way to tackle it.

as its a nursing home I imagine you will only really get comments in te first few weeks but once all the clients know you it will become old news and no one will care to ask anymore (unless new fresh scars appear of course).

Cacoethes · 27-09-2014, 02:57 PM

Thanks Ktulu, you're right, I don't think I'd ever decide it would be a 'good' time to start and maybe the routine and purpose will help me feel better.

If asked about my scars, I was going to say something like 'I used to suffer from depression' or something like that.

Sarah, I'll probably get told when I'm starting properly on Tuesday but it will be very soon. They are quite understaffed at the moment.

Thank you ennae :)

Miyobi · 27-09-2014, 09:21 PM

I too work in a nursing home, when I started I felt much the same way as you, the first day is overwhelming, very much so, but it only gets better after that, you will find people you mesh with, may be put to work with someone a little older than you or someone who has done the job for a while. You'll mostly be observing, maybe assisting the more mobile residents, but always with one other carer (If its done right!) My first day I was mostly "on the floor" which means standing around in the communal area and just chatting/making sure nothing happened.

The sense of purpose in the job, being thanked for doing something small, being chatted to, the cuddles, all overwhelm the episodes where they're angry, upset, depressed. It makes you love yourself that little bit more, gives you confidence, and a brilliant sense of self worth.

People have never asked about my SH scars, fellow staff or residents, although I haven't had them covered for 8+ years so the sun (what little bit I get) has kinda done a nice job of blending them in. So try not to worry about that :) The residents dont even notice my piercings, and when they do they love them!

If something is mentioned I like Kate's response of them being a product of not being very well.

You'll do very well, of that I'm sure, its a difficult job but it is a loving one, but when you begin to feel pulled under by something, find someone you can confide in and do it. I'm here if you want to know any more :) These are just my experiences so they may differ from yours, but I was working side by side with 1/2 other carers whilst I completed my training and became more confident.

What you're feeling is normal. Try to get a good night of sleep, take advantage of the training period and make sure to de-stress after each course/shift *hugs* You'll do great!

Cacoethes · 28-09-2014, 03:58 PM

Thank you :)

I'm really starting to panic. All I have going through my head is what if I get something really wrong? What if I get too distracted by other things? What if I break down in tears at work (been on constant verge of tears for about 2 weeks now and crying at nothing) because that would be really embarrassing. What if I can't cope?
Anxiety just really high atm!

Ballerina123 · 28-09-2014, 05:41 PM

I think your anxieties are quite normal. Everyone gets the "what if I do something really wrong?" Thought When starting an new job.

In reality you will likely get a lot of little things wrong a first but everyone dose. It's just a learning curve.

One thing that I was told in my nurse Trainning and at other job inductions was "never do a task if you don't feel comfortable or you havnt had the trainning to do it" basically if your concerned about your ability to do a task safely and with dignity it is better to ask a more experienced member to help you (or do it instead if your not qualified or trained to do it) than to guess how to do it and get it wrong which could lead to a big mistake. It doesn't matter if the person you ask for help is pissed you asked. It better you and your patients are safe and respected then worrying what a staff member think of you.
For example if a nurse asks you to change a patient and you have never done that before its best to just say I don't know how to than doing something wrong and it ending in a complaint over dignity.

I'm sure you will be trained though.
If you have any troubles or questions about HCA work and nursing just pm and I'll give you some tips.

And remeber you can't learn everything in the first week. It took me about 6 months of working in A&E till I was ok with everything and doing stuff on my own.

One good piece of advice I will give you though is to get a little note book and pen and keep them in your pocket (you know those tiny little note books). If you learn somthing new write it down or if your given a list of 3 or 4 tasks to do write them down that will help you not to forget and you actually get stuff done quicker with fewer mistakes.

Deep breaths. You will be fine x

Cacoethes · 28-09-2014, 07:04 PM

Thanks Kate, that's reassuring :)

I'm hoping that once everything is explained on Tuesday then I'll feel less anxious. At least then I'll know what I'm doing and what's expected of me etc.

The notebook is a good idea :) x

Ktulu · 30-09-2014, 07:08 PM

How did it go?

sherlock holmes · 30-09-2014, 07:41 PM

Beckie said it went well today. I'm not sure if she's posting on RYL at the moment.

random.swirls · 30-09-2014, 09:05 PM

Not sure if you'll read this but think about doing a work wrap

The Worst Witch · 30-09-2014, 09:11 PM

This might be a bit late, but when I was asked about my scars by my boss (nobody else asked, as its none of their business) I told her that "I used to self-harm because of a variety of reasons, but it will in no way, shape or form affect my work with the children" and she accepted that. She did ask me to wear a long sleeved top under my tshirt, which I'm fine with doing because if this is something you would find useful you can get quite thin ones for the summer and thicker ones for winter.

I hope today went well, and sorry for kind of jumping in at the last minute!