inherently Defective/Self-Esteem.

-Asphyxia- · 05-09-2014, 04:10 PM

I feel inherently defective.

Like, I literally hate myself and feel like no one would ever want to be with me. Hell, the last 3 idiots I was seeing/dating all ended up ignoring me after awhile and ended up seeing other girls during that time, then finally told me what was up. So, obviously there's something wrong with me.

I know I'm not perfect, but why can't anyone just accept the fact that I am who I am? What am I doing wrong? Am I that f*cked up?

I know the whole, "You can't love someone else if you can't love yourself." Well....How the F*CK do you love yourself after just despising your own existence for the vast majority of your life? How?! It's a foreign concept to me.

My life is such a mess right now...

talaiporia · 06-09-2014, 01:52 AM

Have you ever told anyone about how you feel? It sounds like you feel very low, and you have quite low self-esteem. I think that sometimes relationships just don't work, and it isn't necessarily a reflection on yourself.

What do you think it is about your existance that you 'despise' so much?

SamHelpPlease · 06-09-2014, 06:58 PM

I've never been good at helping people, especially when i need so much help. But I know together we are stronger than we are alone, if you need someone to talk to when you need it, give me your skype or some type of way to talk to you

-Sam

-Asphyxia- · 07-09-2014, 02:21 AM

I see a therapist...I probably should be on medication, but I don't have insurance.

I can't really pinpoint what I despise so much; it's just this general feeling of failure, feeling faulty, "not enough," etc...I guess I'm just not comfortable in my skin.

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaiporia

Have you ever told anyone about how you feel? It sounds like you feel very low, and you have quite low self-esteem. I think that sometimes relationships just don't work, and it isn't necessarily a reflection on yourself.

What do you think it is about your existance that you 'despise' so much?

talaiporia · 09-09-2014, 12:23 AM

Does your therapist know how bad things are?

-Asphyxia- · 11-09-2014, 12:21 PM

Yeah. We kind of talked about it last week, and I'm going to talk to her again in a couple of hours here.

I hate how these feelings have held me back from doing so much in my life..... Thank god I'm trying to do something about it now while I'm still hanging on to my 20's, but sometimes I feel like thinks will never change. Of course, it's easier to go the depressed route....

-Asphyxia- · 13-09-2014, 04:04 PM

Honestly, how the f*ck does a person gain self-esteem after not having it for nearly 20 years?

PlayD3ad · 14-09-2014, 10:46 PM

You can't just get self esteem sadly. Those around you need to be supportive and tell you how much your loved and important. Because you are. I know it's hard to see it for yourself. I've struggled with this much of my life as well. And I know it doesn't help that who you have dated didn't respect you or show you that you were special.

Think of the ways you positively impact the lived of those around you and how you make someone smile. Those are reason to feel good about yourself.

and there isn't anything wrong with you just because those dis respectful guys treated you like that and acted that way that's theirs.

What about yourself do you not like? What about you do you like?