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Triggering (SI/OD) - not quite the title i wanted..but..*TRIG/GRAPHIC***
somesaid (wrote) somehting that has played with my head all day, thanks Kim...and i REALLY do mean thnks. It was the kick of reality i needed i think.
Here ive been going alond, thinking 'well yiou arent *really harming* anymore, not for ages' So im past ot.
***********TRIGGER PART********
so if im so fine and 'doing better as ive been telling yself, why do i have urges constantly stull, dream of it for fuick sakes, to the point of waking up, sure ive done it. Why am i still comtwemplatin the axe, his brand new xacto knife blade, setting myself on fire...
That isnt the thoughts of a 'well' person, the person i htough ti was
Now i just feel i have to act to these things, like suddenly i have license to do it.....
hubby not home a while yet....
so torn, so lost, so disappointed. I thought i had moved on...but i merely did what i always do, hid and pretended.
romp
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