nothing seems enough empty

[yoyogirl]

Things are going slightly okay for me I am finally getting help and support from social services. I have joined regular classes starting this September at my local college as hobbies/potential career path and I am 50/50 over Open Uni or brick uni then things could get better for me. I am also doing voluntary work at my local park helping out in the coffee shop and gift shop

But the major concern is that nothing i seem to do makes me feel full emotionally like these activities can satisfy me short term but never long term and it really affects my health, the problem is that I haven't been satisfied with my life, I could get a top grade at uni (2:1 or above or 80%) and still want more i have tried everything to combat this feeling but it never goes away it lingers on for years/decades and I have really had enough the feeling.

Then I go through stages wher because of the emptiness feeling i lose interest and things go deeply down hill (thoughts of ending it) or i end up going into my manic highs where the extra pro-plus/coffee, no sleep, too much stress, over exercising and restricting gets really bad, but no matter how much I try i can't shift this empty feeling even if I am busy distracted doing activities I enjoy.

Mental health are really useless and mind i have practically given up them simply they stop these activities and this horrible word "recovery" comes to mind, but how can you stop this when i can't stop myself its something that happens naturally I have no control of it.

Please help, what can i do and what would you suggest i try?

[sherlock holmes]

It's encouraging that you've found some hobbies and activities, even if at times you don't feel fulfilled by them.

It does sound as if you possibly are getting depressed at times, which would cause you to lose interest, feel empty, and think about dying.

Why are your mental health team useless? Thinking of 'recovery' can be scary. I try not to use that word in relation to my own life! Instead I just keep doing things that make me feel uncomfortable (like getting the train, doing art groups, eating healthily) until they get easier and easier.

Keep up with your activities, and try and see your GP/CMHT for a chat about how you can combat these negative feelings. Maybe a coping skills group would be good and can teach you ways of dealing with negative feelings etc.

[KelcieLe]

You have made a good point sherlock holmes. SKinnylove911, if you just keep on doing what you want, slowly you will get accustomed to it. The fact that you are thinking too much about not being satisfied will make you more hopeless. These activities will benefit you in the long run...keep doing them...if you want, you can seek professional help from a doctor...

[yoyogirl]

It's the sodding norm to me I am never happy or accomplished with any activity to me it's just a couple of hours of my painful existence in society. When I am high the world is my oyster but it easily goes out of control it's like the outward signs are that I am happy enjoying life and that I am normal but internally emotionally it's a different story. I never feel fullfiled, I can go to college Uni, have a job part time but I am never satisfied with my progress. I regularly do see drs but all they do is fob me off with a few pills, send me to counselling, it works temporary for a little while and then within a week I am back to feeling to the usual **** I feel trying my hardest to stay alive.
Then the start of hypo manic phase starts and nobody sodding helps me till it's too late. But I am unable to stop it becomes the norm.
Pills I have tried doesn't really help
Counselling only works for a short while
Healthy life style - it works for a while but I easily go from normal to restricting
Distracting only just works when it works.
Nothing makes me wake up and think I have something to live for, I mean I have my dog teddy who I love.

[Cacoethes]

Have you tried thinking of the bigger picture rather than the immediate future? Like if I get low or not really sure what I'm doing with my life, I'll check out courses and look at jobs and houses and plan a future rather than thinking about the stuff I can and can't do right this moment.
What do you think would make you want to wake up and feel like you have something to live for? Any job or activity that you can think of?


What do you think the professionals can do that will help you?