BPD - racing thoughts and feeling agitated

Serialangel · 25-07-2014, 01:28 AM

Hi

I've been officially diagnosed w BPD for a few months now and even though I got a name for the panic/terror/tornado inside me that happens sometimes I don't know how to deal with it, how to calm it or make myself safe.

I've been insanely busy the last couple of weeks - full time work then been working on personal projects after work almost every evening and also having to read triggering things every day as part of my admin work has my mind racing and feeling agitated and unable to sleep well which is bad as I'm exhausted. I just worry it's going to go full blown emotional storm and with my therapist going on holiday for a couple of weeks I need to be safe, or at least control it somehow...

Does anyone have any tips for how they get through it, or stop it happening, and cope in general? x

Patent Pending · 25-07-2014, 01:39 AM

Hey there.

I used to suffer with this kind of thing. A lot. It used to help me a little to open a word doc on my computer and just rant/vent all the thoughts that were going on in my head.

Otherwise I'd do something physical like cleaning or even running up and down the stairs/punch a pillow etc.

I hope you find something that helps, I know it's horrible to sit with.

x x x

Spoons · 25-07-2014, 01:20 PM

Hey,
Are you currently receiving any support for dealing with bpd?
random ideas to release frustration
Throw ice cubes at the ground and watch them smash, scream into a pillow, go for a run/ bike ride, punch a pillow etc.
Some may sound a little silly but they really do help, I get like that quite often and having a good scream releases lots of emotional energy.
Also could you cut down on anything that you are doing? overworking will make you more vulnerable or at least that's how it goes with me.
Take care

Epicene · 25-07-2014, 08:40 PM

I think it's so important to try and schedule in some down time for yourself, including taking breaks at work when you've been dealing with triggers. It might also be worth planning some nice things, or appointments with other professionals, during the time your therapist is away.

Serialangel · 26-07-2014, 01:32 AM

Mix Tape - glad to know someone's come out the other side. Do you know what helped you 'defeat' it in the end? I've got a medical diary I could use to write stuff, but sometimes it just gets all plugged up.

Spoons - my only support for my BPD is my diabetic psych who I see once every two weeks. It's not enough and he knows not enough, but its all I have. Have some ties to the local mental health place but I left their group therapy as it did more harm than good. My best GP is also about to leave, which is heartbreaking

and I'm having to reconnect with another doctor at my GP. I do feel like I need more but I don't think they're going to give it to me. I live in a shared house so don't think I can scream but I might try the pillow thing as everyone's mentioned it.

Epicene - my problem has been planning too many things... would love to go to the cinema but I've had no time :(

Today was really tough - I did a **** up at work, and for a horrible moment I thought I was going to hurt myself because I felt so **** and angry w myself. I didn't, but I've been thinking self flagellating thoughts all day and I'm so damn unhappy with myself. Everything feels so constricted that I can't flop, I have to keep going otherwise I wouldn't be able to do anything anymore and I wouldn't get anything done and everything I'm working on would just go up in smoke.

Patent Pending · 26-07-2014, 01:52 AM

I will reply properly tomorrow, but are you diabetic..?

It's just I am and BPD messes with mine no end.

x x x

Serialangel · 26-07-2014, 02:01 AM

Yeah, been diabetic type 2 for 5 years. It sucks, and when I have issues with my bpd I get issues with my diabetes and I guess thats why I got a diabetic psych. There should be loads more of them!
Will wait on your reply x

Spoons · 26-07-2014, 01:25 PM

I didnt realise there were such things as diabetic psychs...
Have you looked in to dbt? I did dbt and it actually helped a hell of alot to deal with my destructive behaviours and to just cope with the extremes of bpd.

Serialangel · 28-07-2014, 01:27 AM

My psych and I do mentalisation therapy. Have you heard of it? It's an approved therapy but I don't know many people who are actually on it. I say my psych and I as the therapy is built on having a bond, which we do have. It's a scary feeling sometimes.

There should be more diabetic psychs, diabetes messes a lot of people up and you find quite a few people with diabetes and eating problems.

Serialangel · 28-07-2014, 01:31 AM

This friday is my last session for the month with my psych and I'm scared, I feel like I'm having to squeeze myself together to fit, to cope. Man I need to sleep :/