I might be going out on town today - my best friend and bandmate lost his grandmother last night and I'm meeting him.
A little too early for me to go out on town, but I plan on telling him I'm trying to stay sober for a while. And he needs a friend tonight; he puts on a brave face, but he is taking it quite heavily.
Seems I planned my soberness a little wrong; or maybe I planned it right. I guess we'll see.
Abandon hope, ye pitiful ones. Embrace defiance and relent another day.
So, I couldn't get any sleep at all this last night I was watching my aunt's apartment, it is so warm and she doesn't have proper curtains, so it is so bright, plus I am feeling slightly stressed (as you might or might not notice from my writing) so at about 05:00 this morning I figured I might as well get out of bed, pack up the last of my stuff and get the hell outta there.
Just got home now a little before 06:00 and unpacked most of it.
The dawn of day three, but oh my ****ing god do I want a drink right now. Like, really, really, want a ****ing drink.
Probably a bad idea, since I'm guessing my slight agitation and anxiety is a little bit of withdrawals showing up.
Abandon hope, ye pitiful ones. Embrace defiance and relent another day.
Any success is a success all the same. What's important is that you're trying and that you pick yourself back up and keep trying.
How are you doing today?
The only time you will find real light is when you're searching in the dark..
Well, I almost made it to day four; but I discovered that being all by myself in this house while the rest of the family is away on holiday was too bloody boring... So I'm gonna wait a little while before I try again.
Thanks for your support.
Abandon hope, ye pitiful ones. Embrace defiance and relent another day.
Again it really is good that you've been trying and I'm glad that you are willing to try again. Boredom can be hard, which is why it would be best to come up with some fun things for you to do instead of drinking to keep you occupied. It's natural to drink on your emotions so you need to come up with healthier ways of dealing with them..
The only time you will find real light is when you're searching in the dark..
Thanks; yeah I will do it again. I have to sober up before I start music school in the end of August; 'cause there's no alcohol allowed on the school grounds.
I have things to do; I play my bass, watch films etc. and am reading a couple of books. But, I drink while I do all these things. If I had pulled through the withdrawal phase I'm sure I could have done them all sober; but I was feeling like **** and wasn't able to focus on anything much because of that, so while I was having withdrawals I couldn't do the things I wanted to do. Not that the withdrawals were that bad; but I got agitated and anxious at times throughout the day and slept even less than I usually do so I was exhausted all the time. Three days isn't much, but it sure felt like forever.
I've got a couple of weeks left of my holiday and then a week or so at work before I have about three weeks off again before school, so I'm doing it then.
Abandon hope, ye pitiful ones. Embrace defiance and relent another day.
