Breaking up after a long-term relationship

[forever_lost]

Has anyone here been through a breakup after a long-term relationship? Because I'm feeling pretty awful and I don't know what to do. We were together about five years, and I didn't even see this coming. I did give him about a month of space, but it's gotten harder. Especially this weekend with the holiday. I'm actually terrified of starting the next school semester in fall without him and each day closer to the end of summer is freaking me out. I've given up being angry because it didn't do any good. So now I'm pretty much just moping around and I'm worried about falling back into self-harm. I've been free for about five years. I'm worried about falling into a depression that I haven't felt for almost a decade, and I won't be able to afford that while being in school. I'd love to have more distractions, and I really do want to be happy, but I don't have much going on. Not many friends around, my summer job which feels like all I have will end soon, and I really hate being away at school. I'm feeling fragile, like easily overwhelmed. I just feel alone and I don't know how to pull myself out of this. I don't know who to talk to and it is so hard trying to leave him alone, but it's gotten to the point where there's nothing left I can say or do to make it better. I woke up this morning just saddened by the fact that I won't be able to go to his niece's 4th birthday next month and see her grow up.

[Britney Spears]

I don't know what to tell you. I went through a hard break up, its been years, and I still think about it every day, it hurts really bad and I've still not gotten over the depression. I guess I can say that taking up a new hobby or even just watching movies distracts me and can help at least for a while. Go out with friends, even if you don't feel like it, push yourself to go out with people. Write about how you feel when youre too overwhelmed, venting and crying helps.
I'm really sorry about your break up. :(

[Aardbei]

I was in a similar situation myself 3 years ago; my boyfriend of 7 years ended things and it came completely out of the blue (for me anyway). It is really difficult to not talk to someone who was a big part of your life for a long time, but distance is what will make it easier in the long run. I won't lie, it doesn't stop hurting, but it does get so much easier. You're still early days yet; try to give yourself time.

Are there things you could get involved with to keep busy? Some voluntary work maybe or a weekly class you could go to with your friends? Things like that will really help fill up the days x

[PDworry]

Hey, Im so sorry you are going through this, break ups are so terrible and the cause of what has made me the most depressed in my life. But Im happy to tell you Ive had 2 long term relationships end and it feels unbearable, especially the first one, but now I honestly can say I couldn't care less about either of them! =) Both were 5 years like you, the first one was totally out of the blue when he ended it and then I found out he'd been having an affair and got the girl pregnant, absolutely heartbreaking for me, I never imagined Id get over it but I did, and a lot quicker than I expected too. The second one was verbally abusive so I was mostly scared to leave him and didn't feel anyone else would want me, but I still loved him and I felt awful when I did pluck up the courage to end it, but it was definitely the right thing to do. I understand how your feeling too about thinking of things you will miss cos I did that, but try not too cos it makes it so much more painful. Take care, you will be ok x