Going downhill fast

trainingyourzombie · 28-05-2014, 11:53 PM

I've been in therapy for a long time, medicated for almost 8 years and nothing I've taken or done has helped me. The biggest problem is the lack of mental health support in my town/province in general. I've been diagnosed with bi-polar II, dysthymia, ADHD, social phobia, Gender Identity Disorder, clinical depression, BPD traits... it feels like my psychiatrists have just been grasping at straws, trying to pin something on me. A little over 3 years ago I began my transition from female to male, and things were getting a bit better. I tried to get my high school diploma, I even moved out but it all fell apart. It's a trend, and as much as I try and stat positive my life keeps that trend up. I'm stuck in a shitty home situation, unable to work, unable to move forward... and I just don't know what to do anymore.

I have no friends I can really talk to about any of this. They're either too busy or just don't care. I've been trying to find a new psychiatrist (my last one gave up on me) but the lack of resources nips that in the bud.

I don't know what I need... just that it has to be in the forward direction or I'm afraid something bad might happen.

crazykat · 02-06-2014, 12:01 PM

I'm sorry that you haven't had a reply before now. It can be hard when you feel like your stuck in the same negative cycle. It can be hard to see a way forward but no matter how bleak things feel there is always a way. What things would you like to achieve if it were possible? Sometimes just thinking about that and starting to formulate some goals aimed towards the future can help you move away from the cycle your stuck in can help. Then from that you can break it down into smaller more manageable steps. Best of luck

Jordan Leigh · 03-06-2014, 08:08 PM

sorry to hear you've been struggling. I was in the same point of my life, as well, and I know how scary it is to have no control over your health or really any part of your life. I've been diagnosed with depression, bpd, and panic disorder and the bpd is most debilitating. It's been years and over 30 medications before finding the recipe that works best for me as an individual and yes, I thought the same thing about my psychiatrist just pulling at straws but unfortunately that's how it works sometimes. My suggestion is to keep trying to find support like a support group at a behavioral hospital or something. I'm not a doctor but maybe talk to your psych about other options like inpatient, IOP, or day hospital if you're really struggling. that's what I had to do to remain stable.

once again, bring all of this stuff up with doctor first and foremost.