This isn't in the self harm board because it's not actually about that so much as the general issue of not being able to get through to my doctor about mental health.
Now, I know my doctor can (and does so well) deal and understand mental health issues. I'm in a very wierd situation though.
I see and speak to my doctor very regularly as I have a chronic health condition which currently requires close monitoring. As such I'm very used to my doctor and he's very clued in to physical symptoms and so on.
The problem is, I just can't see to get through to him that mentally I'm pretty crap at the moment. I've tried, really tried, going completely against my instinct and actually mentioning self harm or I'm even sure I've said 'I'm struggling with self harm'
What happens is I have an appointment, we spend 5 minutes going through the physical woes, meds etc then there's not much time. I try and throw it out there but he literally doesn't react. It actually gets completely ignored as though I didn't just pull out ridiculous courage to blurt it out.
I remember once he sort of suggested CBT self help books after sheer desperation led me to see a university counsellor, who basically told me I need someone who can handle the complexity better and recommended I should look again into CBT (I've had it before when I was like 14 and it helped-ish at the time) as well as getting a proper assessment. I told my doctor this, and thus the self help book murmurings.
Our last conversation (on the phone) I decided to just be blunt and said 'thought I had self harm under control but apparently not' blah blah. He said we should keep an eye on it.
I was really just wondering if there's any suggestions as to how to get through to my doctor that this really is a problem? I know 100% I'm not just sad because of my illness, this is much worse and has been around years before I was ill.. Just didn't have the balls to address it then!
I can't help under play anything mental health, especially in person, and it takes an awful lot to admit there are issues. I can't take much more of it being ignored when I mention because it makes me feel like I'm being pathetic but really I'm just desperate to help myself and I know something like CBT is the way I have to go.
The ironic thing is, so so many people with my illness get the problems put down to mental health... It feels like my doctor has gone so opposite! It's great he knows the physical stuff is legit physical, but part of my recovery needs to include finally tackling my head a bit!!
There will always be a happy ending. If its not happy then its not yet the end.
I'd say to take the bull by the horns and directly ask him for CBT and for specific treatment for your mental health.
I know it can be hard with GPs and asking for things (I tend to underplay things too). Can you write out some bullet points that you can read from when you are in the appointment so you don't underplay your symptoms?
I would also suggest that you saw the uni counsellor like he suggested, and she said that you needed something more intense like CBT. Maybe even tell the GP you didn't think self help books were that helpful and you'd like to see a trained counsellor or therapist.
Even consider seeing a different GP for mental health issues if he continues not to listen to you.
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
I have considered asking directly for CBT, and I probably will, I just wasn't sure how acceptable it is to ask?!
I feel that if he asked, I could be pretty honest about everything, but I just can't without him asking! I also get paranoid he's like 'really? Another thing?' Even though I know that's irrational and he's actually been a great GP!
There will always be a happy ending. If its not happy then its not yet the end.
I think you're right, but I do know mine does actually deal with mental health issues, he sent my brother to counselling yonks ago. If I had to, I'd see another GP but I don't feel comfortable with seeing a different one against the others back when he's spend so much time treating and getting to know my illness... Maybe it's stupid but it feels almost like traitorous! Hah.
There will always be a happy ending. If its not happy then its not yet the end.
that isn't him dealing with your brothers mental health that was him sending your brother to someone who could have dealt with his mental health. The next time you are in before he starts to talk tell him straight away you want a referral to see a counselor.
To whom I may offend,
hahahahaha
Yours faithfully the monkeys arse
Firstly well done for recognising that this is a problem for you! That's a massive step which is really positive.
As well as all the other suggestions above, why don't you make an appointment with him specifically to address the mental health issues? You've said that when you see him you go through all the physical things, meds, etc then run out of time. But if you go in and only talk about the mental health things, he can't ignore it!
I've aimed to go in there and just do the mental health bit but I'm terrible at keeping on track when the barrage of questions start about meds, symptoms etc! I sort of feel it's compulsory to answer so then I address the mental health stuff and the end and then it's ignored
I'm assuming it's a time issue!
That's a good thought Jenna, I might do that
I'll give it another shot when I next see him in person and if no joy then I'll try and book a double appointment
There will always be a happy ending. If its not happy then its not yet the end.
I would make an appointment just to discuss mH/SH. I'm a junior dr currently working in a GP and one of the things I find most frustrating is when I ask a patient what they've come about, they tell me so I spend the appointment dealing with it, i think we're done and they say 'oh and....' then proceed to talk about something quite important. In my mind I'm like 'crap, I don't want to ignore that but the appointment is gone and I have other people waiting, why didn't they mention that at the start?' It might seem frustrating if you're having to have lots of appointments already but I think it would help with not getting sidetracked and wouldn't let him ignore it as it is the whole reason you're there. If necessary book it with a different dr.
Always seem to get things just that little bit wrong.
"don't wish, don't start, wishing only wounds the heart"
I understand that, but that's not how it works for our appointments.
I walk in and it's 'hello! how's the x suiting you?' Or 'has y calmed down?' Etc
It's never 'so what's today about' which is what makes it more difficult, I'm not bouncing into other stuff first by choice, it's to reply and not be rude and so on. It would be easier sometimes if it was 'so, what's today' but usually I see or speak to him every 2 weeks (not being needy, I have to) so it would be a little bit ridiculous to do it every time. We cut a lot of time just getting down to what we need to discuss.
There will always be a happy ending. If its not happy then its not yet the end.
Yeah I'll try that next time I'm feeling strong enough! In my head I totally do that but I'm actually far too polite! But next time I can face discussing it and asking for help I really will try and do that
There will always be a happy ending. If its not happy then its not yet the end.
How about booking an appointment specifically for MH, when you don't need to talk about anything physical, and when you walk in and he goes "How's X?" you can say "Actually I'm here about something else, my mental health. I don't need to talk about X today."
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
I agree that it would be a good idea to respond to his questions by telling him that you're actually specifically there to talk about your mental health. I can understand the need to be polite, but do try to remind yourself that it isn't at all impolite to handle it that way, there is nothing wrong with it in the slightest. He's your doctor, he's there to help you, and not just with your physical health, so you are perfectly within your rights to tell him that's not what you're there for this time. Good luck :)
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
