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I'm at the verge of giving up.
Hi. I really desperately needed someone to talk to and this site may be of help because i can't do this on my own. I am not an adult yet and I got BPD. Been suffering for 3 years and it has gotten worse. I have a boyfriend of 6 years who used to be so loving and caring towards me. I keep raging at him,lieing nearly everyday, manipulating him, insulting his dead relatives, yelling and threatening to kill him.. I am disgusted at myself and i started cutting myself too. My bf has been away for 2weeks and i havent been depressed or cried and afewdays ago he's back and i've been depressed ever since. Hes cold towards me and i accept that. I say if he wants to break up he goes ''sure'', takes ages to reply to me and wants to stay away from me. I understand and if i dated myself i would have ran away as far as possible. But i have nobody at all. I shared my feelings with him and his reply was idc. I am so alone he doesnt care if i hanged myself because hes used to me crying that ill suicide but i am really serious i may seem happy irl with my friends but when im talking to him the aura is so depressing.. I dont want to let him go theres none better than him i know that because he gave me so many chances and other guys would leave me within 3 minutes of knowing my real self. I dont share all this stuff with none else and a lot of people tell me to go kill myself when they hear what i do. I know its disgusting but i am not normal :/ help please :( i don't want to break up i dont know what to do..
btw this is a ldr
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