Talking about suicidal thoughts

[tiptoes]

Does anyone have any tips on how to talk about suicidal thoughts.

It has recently been brought up by my team that I rarely talk about my suicidal thoughts that I get fairly persistently regardless of how my mood is. If I'm asked outright whether I have been struggling with the thoughts that day or week etc I can typically say yes I have been having thoughts but beyond that I shut off and never will spontaneously bring them up. So far this year despite my mood being fairly good the thoughts have been worse. At one point they were really bad and I knew I should really have been reaching out but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I think not talking about them is starting to hold me back but I really don't know where to start when it comes to dealing with them.

[Pi.R^2]

Can you identify what it is that holds you back from bringing it up? Like, is it that the words themselves are kind of scary and difficult to say, or something do with worrying about what people will say?

If the former, could you try to come up with a kind of euphemism, like "I've been feeling pretty hopeless about life", or something like that, that doesn't mention the word suicidal?

Do you ever have text or email contact with any of your professionals? If so, maybe it would be easier to bring it up via one of those media?

[crazykat]

I don't think your alone in this, alot of people find it hard to bring up for various reasons. Sometimes because they don't want to burden the other person or that it is just too painful to talk about. I think it is important to remember that they are professionals though they will be used to dealing with people who have struggled with similar thoughts and will want to do the best they can to support you. I think identifying what about bringing it up makes it hard would be a good start like the person above has suggested. Once you know why you find it hard it might be easier to come up with some strategies to make it easier. Another option that you may find helpful is to write it down if it is something that you are struggling with saying out aloud.

[tiptoes]

There are a few things that could be behind it.

I think part of it is I have had them for such a long time its kinda normal to be having suicidal thoughts.
For the most part they are passive thoughts which makes me feel a bit like a fraud.
When I'm actively suicidal I don't want to talk about the thoughts because I don't want to be stopped.
I've come to terms with the fact I'm most likely going to die by my own hand whether that is through my suicide or by careless/reckless behaviour(s) so it sort of feels like talking about the thoughts and plans are just delaying the inevitable.
When I was younger (but still an adult) I had my confidentiality broken which means I am a little wary of what I disclose (despite accepting that it was in my best interest for my confidentiality to be broken)
I'm nowhere near as impulsive with regards to these thoughts as I was when I was younger so feel like talking about the thoughts is a waste of time because I'm mostly likely not going to do anything about it.
I don't want disclosing these thoughts to have any impact on my job/course [re. access to dangerous substances]
I'm embarrassed for having these thoughts when I have no good reason for having them.
I don't want people to be continually watching for signs or worrying about me.

I think there is possibly other reasons but these are all I have so far. Not sure which play a greater/less role.

[ctried]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Auror.

I can really relate but I have no good ideas for talking about them, as I tend to refuse to talk about them for fear of being hospitalized. So I'm curious what other people can suggest, and wanted to let you know that you aren't alone with this.

Ditto.

When I was a kid and first started considering suicide as the solution, I tried to subtly bring the subject up and I got yelled at for my trouble.

I've since developed a pretty cynical attitude towards addressing the issue of suicide with so-called same people, as I've seen time and time again that no possible good will come from doing so. Though I very much wish this wasn't the case.

You know of all the badness that can be swept into the category of "mental health issues," nothing really upsets me more then the common practice of deeming people who commit suicide as "selfish." It's threads like this that show that the suicidal community are trying so, so hard to find a way out of this impossible maze society has corralled them into. They suffer and struggle day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, even decade after decade, trying to find a way to make it all right, and after they've pulled that heavy weight by themselves for as long as they possibly could before it broke them, they are branded cowards by the world around them.

You all deserve so much better then that. Both those who are reading this and absent friends alike.

[Ballerina123]

I disclosed that i was feeling suicidal once and my psych made me take time off work because i had access to medication (i worked in the nhs) so i can understand your fear. But i think you could say you feel hopeless about life without that directly meaning your suicidal/a harm to yourself.

Hope you manage to say something because it would be a shame if you didn't get help for it.