Contains Suicide - First post in how many years?

[Logarithm]

I don't know what to do.

I remembered this website after about 9 years, it's great that they still remember old accounts and stuff.

I've been convinced by friends to go back to a mental health professional; I'm very lucky that I can afford to because it is paid for by my University.

I am failing all my subjects and failing everything else too. I should have finished years ago (by regular timetable).

I can't stand to be sober and I want to die. But I can't kill myself just yet because of the people who care for me; my best friends and my mum and dad. But I'm too anxious to go outside and I really just want to do really violent things to myself.

I drink a lot and so on, but it only makes it a little bit easier, never makes it go away.

I don't know why I'm posting, I really want to type some very graphic things but there's no point - I'd make others feel bad whilst not making myself feel any better. I suppose I just hope to chat to someone who relates.

[Wannabfree]

I can relate as I have come back on here after years too. I too am at uni still. And i have just gone back to a mental health professional. I encourage you to keep fighting, we have done it before we can do it again. I know that often its easier to give up though. Message me if you want to chat in more detail.

[crazykat]

I think seeking out the support of a mental health professional is a good idea. I can relate to the should have finished my degree by now but try and remember your dealing with alot so try not to compare yourself to others. Keep fighting, you will get through this

[little_secrets]

I'm so glad that you are reaching out! That is something to be proud of- there is something that feels easier about hiding from everyone and everything- and the fact that you are putting your feelings into words is wonderful. Please go to the mental health professional- you are worth much more than your violent thoughts. You can pm me if you need to talk.

[Logarithm]

Thanks everyone. The meds are starting to do a little bit of work. Thanks everyone for the support, much love.