Explaining to partner.

[Aubergine]

How do you explain issues to your other half? I have schizoaffective disorder, have been detained multiple times and have scars everywhere (legs, arms, stomach, breasts, feet...) I'm mostly stable now thanks to medication, but the scars aren't going to go away and are very obviously self-harm (lines of cuts and skin grafts in odd places.) I considered just never, ever getting into a relationship with someone, but I'm on the verge of entering one and I'd really like it to go somewhere. I'm just terrified they won't be able to deal with my past. How do other people deal with this? There are probably a million and one similar threads, but I could do with some personal reassurance.

[Ballerina123]

I resently had to tell my partner I had schizoaffective disorder and it did worry me. But when I told him I found him to be quite understanding. Hopefully you will have the same experience.

If not, if he/she doesn't understand then it would be good to think about weather you want to be with someone who won't take the time to understand?
There are people out there who will understand, I have scars too.


I think you just have to go for it and hope he understands.

Sorry if this is rubbish advice x

[Laura2.0]

I don't have schizoaffective disorder, and I never had a partner so I can't tell you how to tell him.
But I think if he doesn't at least try to understand then you probably don't want him to be your partner. I don't think it would be a good thing if you had to hide from your partner.

[Wellingtons]

I'm married with bipolar disorder, my husband has always been wonderfully supportive through periods of illness.

[happiness...its all a lie]

My boyfriend just says they are apart of me. We dont talk about it much unless one of us wants too. He knows my past rape/abuse/self harm but he has depression too so he understood but we talk freely about it if we want if not we leave it. Hes vvv supportive though.


Like others say see how he reacts if he doesnt take time to listen n understand think if you want to be with someone like that. Good luck am sure it will work out

[sollochs]

If they're worth being in a relationship with, they'll try and understand and be as supportive as possible. My partner and I were both very open with each other at the start of our relationship and in the end that's one of the things that has really helped us to grow. My partners past was something that she'd only ever told her therapist, mother, and best friend about before she told me. I am still so grateful to get for trusting me and I always will be.

Anyone worth their salt would at least show compassion and love when their partner shares their past with them, and I think that's what you've got to hold onto when sharing your history. My girlfriend was a saviour to me when I told her about all my baggage, and I hope that your partner will be equally supportive :)

[not_so_insig]

I was IP in January and during that time my psych (with my permission) told my parents that I suffered from psychosis (my diagnosis is schizophrenia, but I didnt want to tell them that). My parents had a follow up appointment with my CPN too. My parents have been supportive and understanding.

So yep dont be afraid to tell them because it may turn out to be good. Do you have professional support? Sometimes hearing it from them may be better.

[Wellingtons]

How are things now Aubergine?