OCD running my life.

[Steel Maiden]

I don't have time to eat or drink. Eating and drinking are of secondary importance to academic success. I sleep six hours a night maximum so I can make allowances for the fact that OCD takes up 5+ hours of my day.

I've been skipping meals so that I have more time to study.

I've been drinking tea and coke so that I don't sleep too much. Maximising time efficiency. Sleeping and eating not important.

I must get a First otherwise my life ends.

I am so angry atm that I'm shaking. I hate myself. I'm not successful enough.

Can anyone tell me how to eliminate the OCD bit? Then I'd have five more hours studying a day.

[tiptoes]

I'm not sure about the OCD stuff hopefully someone else can come along who can help with that.

I do know about academic perfectionism though.
I know it seems like life will end if you don't get a first but it doesn't. I know people who have been successful with 2:2, 2:1 as well as firsts. Also, it get a first overall you don't have to get a first in every exam and assignment. I know I certainly didn't get firsts across the board.

Not eating and sleeping properly might seem like a solution to not having enough time but if you are undernourished and tired you won't be working at your optimum sometimes it is better to take a break in order to work more effectively when you do work. I understand time pressures but setting some ground rules now will help in the longer term. Ensure you have half an hour or so of no work before bed. Regular meals. A couple of hours or an evening of doing something other than work can help too. Work smart not hard.

[Steel Maiden]

The problem is that I cannot concentrate. I get distracted by almost constant OCD thoughts. I can't work smart if I am so slow at studying. My mind feels like there are hundreds of things going on simultaneously in it.

Also I cannot stop moving, at all. I have constant writhing / tics. I nearly dislocated my shoulder today and I am in constant pain in my muscles due to literally nonstop tics.

I have to work 10+ hours a day because my brain is so f**ked that I am extremely inefficient.

[Steel Maiden]

I will be a traitor to my IQ if I don't get a First.

[tiptoes]

Don't know if this is transferable to OCD but when my anxiety is bad I find allowing myself a set amount of time for the thoughts and then go back to work and then when they get distracting again I give myself another set amount of time. It helps to remove some of the guilt which makes me feel less stressed and lessens the anxiety a little bit.

I understand the feelings of being a traitor to your intelligence if you don't get a first. I really do. When I say you can still get a first overall without getting first in everything, I know because I did. At the time I beat myself up over them but since graduating I've been less hard on myself for it.

[Steel Maiden]

Thanks. that helps. I think that could work with OCD. I'll try it now.

The tics are severe. I literally never stop moving.

[Steel Maiden]

I had severe tics as a child but my mum banned me from taking meds for it as part of her goal to make me suffer.

I'm going to ask my GP to talk to my neurologist about meds for it.