Contains bullying - how do you move on?

Overtherainbow222 · 02-02-2014, 06:20 AM

so i had this group of girls last year that made my life a living hell for a solid three months at least. They started rumors talked about me called me names made fun of me on social media called me a slut because i was friends with guys and so many other things. They were in the theatre group I've been part of my entire life. SO they took a couple of shows off and I've been doing ok except for when they post stuff on social media about me. but now they're back. They are invading my safe place all over and i instantly feel self conscious when they're around. I dress differently and act differently just so that o don't give them anything to hate me about… when can they stop having a hold of me? when will i feel ok going to rehearsals they are at and not be miserable? And its not like they can get kicked out because they are smart enough never to touch me or use my name in their social media posts… so its just my word against there's… i just want to feel ok again… they've already taken so much from me, i just don't wanna give them more… but idk how to cope with them around...

Patent Pending · 02-02-2014, 01:27 PM

Hey,

Sorry these people have put you through this, and seem to be intruding on the one place you felt safe.

Unfortunately, the best way to deal with these people are to not react to anything they do - they'll get bored and move on when they see you're not going to give them the reaction they want.

You shouldn't need to change anything about you for these people - that in itself is a reaction - so try to just be yourself and ignore anything they say or do. I know it's easier said than done, but these people are simply not worth your time.

Also, could you mention this to the person who runs this group? Not for them to do anything straight away but for them to keep their eye on them and see if they do anything in front of them?

x x x

springawakening · 04-02-2014, 12:15 AM

Dear overtherainbow,
First of all, YES! Newsies all the way. Second, these girls don't sound like the kind of people whose opinions you should care about. Theater people can be super mean, believe me I know it, but try to see past these cruel people. Some people get a kick out of judging others, and it's awful. But you've done nothing to them to cause this kind of thing. Talk to your REAL friends about it, and try to rise above their pettiness. Rest assured, you are much a much better and stronger person than any of them ever will be. Don't ever let them get to you.

-A fellow Newsies fan
(Something to believe in....

)

PS We have very similar taste! My favorite book is also The Book Thief and I ADORE Next To Normal (Robert J. Spencer is wonderful...). In fact, my situation is almost the same (smart girls cyberbullying and messing with me in my theater program). We should talk sometime, even if it's just about musicals ^_^ PM me. :)

Truth&OtherDisasters · 07-02-2014, 09:51 AM

Well, I was bullied in high school, and I've had a lot of time to reflect on the things that were happening since than. I can tell you right now, trying to "please" those people so they'd stop bothering you is not worth it. That suggests that the fault is yours, and you have to change for them to stop.
No. They are bullies. Whatever you do, they will find what to pick on. They will see that it matters to you and they will do it more. Mix Tape is right, just don't react. Be yourself. I used to get bullied for...well the people found all kinds of reasons. When i stopped doing those things, it became "i heard that you said something about me to someone"- I hadn't, but they just needed an excuse. I would say just claim your power back- as long as you try to please them it's all on them what you do. But it isn't.
I know it's hard but try to be yourself. Try to care less, if you really can't get out of there. If they say you're a slut- is that the best they can do? you're having nice time with your guy friends while they are talking c**p about other people- who is having a better time?:) Don't let them define who you are. People talk, there will always be someone who will have bad opinion of you- and someone who will think you're amazing. Choose whom you listen to. Keep your head high, do what you want to do. If they talk to you offensive things, say things back, but with cool, don't get anger get in that. And remember that one day you will be out of that situation and what they think of you won't matter, but what you think of yourself.
xxx