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*Positive Recovery Post* - There is hope
I haven't been on this website in years and I don't know why, but I suddenly felt the urge to come and have a peek again (to see if it was still the same as I remembered). And while I was here I thought: maybe I should do a little update post. I'm guessing nobody here will know me anymore, but it's more about sending a message of hope really. I just remember how terrible I felt in the periods I used this forum and how nice it was to read a positive post and to hope that someday I could feel the same. So now I hope to do the same for someone :)
A little background story: a had a pretty traumatic childhood which resulted in complex PTSD, anorexia, SI, depression, ... I spent 10 years in therapy (going from one therapist to the other because I was such a difficult patient as I couldn't show any emotion, acted like things weren't that bad). I also had 5 IP stays at an ED unit. I came very close to suicide a lot of times, didn't see the point anymore and thought recovery was impossible. But I kept fighting (and yes, at times it was horrible and so very painful) and finally found a therapist that fit my needs (plus I was more able to connect with my emotions by then). We worked hard digging up the pain from the trauma and trying to give it a place. It hurt really bad and I nearly gave up then. Looking back my therapist told me (and I agree) that I came so close to becoming a life long psychiatric patient (I know that previous therapist had given up on me). But I didn't and am now a fully recovered person. I haven't SI'd or used ED behaviour for several years, I don't suffer from panic attacks anymore because I learned to cope with my feelings (and let them out when needed), I'm very happy , have lovely boyfriend (over 5 years now), and now studying to become a therapist myself (a life long dream, but one that seemed impossible as I was a patient). I still have sad days when I get reminded by the past, but it's not as painful and I know if I give myself the proper care on those day that I'll feel better in the morning. I have given it a place.
So what I'm trying to say is, no matter how bleak or impossible your situation might seem right now (even if several people have given up on you), hope is still possible. I know it's so hard to see sometimes, more so if you've already been fighting for years. But don't give up!
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