Contains abuse - I still feel quite bad about it.

[Cpt_Stunning]

It was 5 years ago today when I phoned up the police about a RYL member, & lost her as a RYL friend.

She wrote on here that she was gang-raped, & I thought the police needed to know. A couple of members on here gained her confidence & got her full name & where she lived. I phoned up the local police station where she lived. They phoned her, & she sent me an angry E-mail calling me names, saying she never wanted the police involved, that she didn't think I was like that, not to say anything to the police.

But it was too late, Devon & Cornwall police (not where she's from) really got on to me, as if I didn't have a choice not to make a statement. So I sort of had to. I'm sort of glad they did, because other girls may of been abused, but she wouldn't speak to me again, & I lost an RYL friend, & I didn't respect her wishes.

[Epicene]

It sounds like you're still feeling the guilt from losing a friend; are you hoping that they will see this?

Either way, it might be wise to resolve this within yourself. Five years is a long time to put yourself through such guilt. In all honesty, I think that you did the right thing to alert the police to potential future attacks. Police involvement may have been hugely traumatic for your friend, but you were acting with her best interests at heart and made a difficult decision based on your concern. Do you think you can work towards accepting the loss of your friend?

[sherlock holmes]

It's sad losing a friend, but from a purely logical point of view I think you did the right thing- her attackers could very well go on to abuse lots more people, and you may have prevented that from happening by contacting the police.

But I know emotions play a part in everything we do, and we cannot look at situations with logic alone. So yes you will feel guilty for going against your friends wishes, and it's sad that they no longer wish to speak to you, but remember you had hers and others' safety and best intentions at heart when you contacted the police.

[PassedExpectations]

what are you looking for from this post? are you in search of reassurance that you did the right thing to settle the guilt? or acknowledgment that you feel so guilty? or even someone to say "you did wrong" so that you could feel less conflicted over being guilty? (this is one i get a lot… i want someone to verify my worst fears so that they aren't irrational)

i think it might help to remember that right and wrong aren't always definite boxes. you can do the right thing and still wind up hurting some people. and you can do the wrong thing and wind up making some people happier. what is right to do for the community might not be what is right to do for an individual person. sometimes it isn't so much as figuring out a right or wrong action as figuring out which rights you think most justify the pains that come with them

while i don't think that you can get in touch to "fix" things with her, you do need to find a way to fix things within yourself, just like she needs to find ways to fix herself up (just from the gang rape)… unfortunately her fixing herself up didn't include you, so yours can't really include her, but that doesn't mean that you can't heal and move on...

[Cpt_Stunning]

I wasn't looking for much from the post, just that I couldn't keep it to myself & I think it's really nice that people viewed & replied. I never would've expected anything like that to happen when I joined RYL.

We all lose friends, just last week I got to know an American couple, then they went to London so I'll never see them again. It was just that that situation was hard to deal with.

I don't come on RYL much anymore, I don't know what to say to people who write posts, so I think it's great that there are committed members who come on here & reply to posts like mine, thankyou.

[Patent Pending]

I hope getting this out helped you.

I am sure many people on here have done the same or similar things. I think you did the right thing.

x x x